In today's case, we follow Randall Crane — a self-declared "living man" and "natural person" — across TWO separate hearings three weeks apart. First, Judge Chungan plays it cool during arraignment, barely flinching when Crane announces he's billing the court $1,400 for his time. But the second hearing? That's where things completely fall apart.
Judge Shackleford has zero patience for sovereign citizen scripts from the moment Crane opens his mouth. From challenging jurisdiction to scrolling his phone mid-hearing, Crane does everything wrong. The judge shuts down every argument in seconds flat — "Denied. I have jurisdiction under the Constitution of the State of Michigan. What else?"
The highlight? When Crane's own defense attorney admits on record that he cannot ethically make the arguments Crane wants — because no attorney on earth will risk sanctions for sovereign citizen nonsense. Crane is left completely alone, armed with nothing but a phone and a script that isn't working.
Watch as Judge Shackleford gives him four simple choices, Crane refuses to pick any of them, and the judge stops entertaining the circus and sets a November jury trial — leaving Crane to figure out what "Voir Dire" even means before then.
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