listen to baladu. - Sasquatch (Heavy Metal)
CONFIDENTIAL LAW ENFORCEMENT REPORT
REPORT NUMBER: RPT-2025-08-14-NC-001
DATE OF REPORT: 08/14/2025
REPORTING AGENCY: Humboldt County Sheriff's Office, Patrol Division
LEAD INVESTIGATING OFFICER: Deputy J. [REDACTED], Badge [REDACTED]
CASE SUMMARY:
On the afternoon of August 13, 2025, a missing person report was filed for subject Michelle [REDACTED], DOB 04/22/2003, of Santa Rosa, CA, by her roommate, Sarah [REDACTED]. Sarah [REDACTED] reported that Michelle [REDACTED] had failed to return from a scheduled day hike near the Trinity Alps Wilderness. A subsequent search and rescue operation was initiated. At approximately 19:30 hours, Deputy [REDACTED] located Michelle [REDACTED] approximately 3 miles off the marked trail, exhibiting signs of severe distress. Michelle [REDACTED] provided a detailed, if highly unusual, account of being accosted and pursued by an unknown male subject, who she claims was ultimately deterred by the presence of a campsite and campers.
NARRATIVE OF EVENTS:
On 08/13/2025 at approximately 15:45 hours, while hiking alone on a trail near the Trinity Alps Wilderness, Michelle [REDACTED] was looking for a suitable spot for a photograph for Instagram when she was approached from behind by a large, hirsute individual. Michelle [REDACTED] described the subject as being "over seven feet tall" "massive" and covered in "brown hair or fur." The subject was reportedly bipedal and moved with an unusual, heavy gait.
Michelle [REDACTED] claims the subject grunted and growled before attempting to physically restrain her. She reported a powerful, musky odor. Michelle [REDACTED] was able to break free and flee the area, running through thick brush and off the main trail. She sustained numerous scrapes, cuts, and minor bruising consistent with running through rugged terrain. As the subject pursued her, Michelle [REDACTED] stated she stumbled upon an unmarked campsite. The site contained a small tent and two male subjects who were actively smoking or vaping and creating what Michelle [REDACTED] identified as "large, thick clouds of weed smoke." Michelle [REDACTED] claims the hirsute subject abruptly halted its pursuit, appeared disoriented, and then veered off into the brush in another direction. The campers fled at the sight of the pursuer or "bailed the f*ck out" per Michelle [REDACTED] and did not offer her assistance. She felt relief in part as she described the fleeing male subjects as "gross" "very old, like 30 or something" and "not appropriate for my Insta at all." Michelle [REDACTED] was able to hide for approximately 27 hours until she heard the search and rescue team's calls.
Upon questioning, Michelle [REDACTED] remained firm in her identification of the subject and the details of her escape. When asked to provide a composite sketch, she drew a figure consistent with folkloric descriptions of an ape-like creature known to locals as Sasquatch or Bigfoot. No other witnesses to the event, including the two individuals at the campsite, have been identified.
EVIDENCE AND FINDINGS:
Witness Statement: Michelle [REDACTED]. Consistent but fantastical narrative.
Physical Evidence: No physical evidence was recovered at the site of the alleged incident. Search team found no large footprints or unusual traces in the area. Michelle [REDACTED]'s injuries are consistent with her account of running through brush, but no definitive link to a physical assault by a third party could be established. Toxicological results indicate extremely elevated levels of THC in the subject's system.
Location: Remote, heavily forested area with a history of wildlife activity, including bears and other large mammals. A search of the area where the alleged campsite was located yielded no evidence of recent human habitation, only a lingering, strong odor consistent with burnt cannabis.
CONCLUSION AND RECOMMENDATIONS:
Due to the lack of corroborating physical evidence and the highly improbable nature of the witness's claim, this case is classified as an "Unfounded Incident." No further investigation is warranted at this time. The victim has been advised to seek medical attention for her injuries and psychological counseling, as well as substance abuse therapy, as the trauma of the event may have led to a distorted perception of the incident. The report will be filed for informational purposes.
REPORT FILED BY: Deputy J. [REDACTED]
BADGE NO.: [REDACTED]
DATE FILED: 08/14/2025
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