Animal Affection
Tribute to all the idiot folks who keep dangerous animals as pets
Lyrics
Animal Affection
(R. McDermott)
Verse
I am the intelligent specie
You may not believe me, but I ain't whistling Dixie
All the others I domesticated
You might say that's just ill fated
(Chorus)
But If you're walking down the road Ohh Ohh
And my Anaconda's strangling me untangle me come rescue me
If you're walking down the road Ohh Ohh
And my Alligator's biting me excitingly get next to me come rescue me
(Verse 2)
Animal affection by association
Causes hypertension and lots of constipation
They say that someday I will turn to vapor
But right now I need some toilet paper
(Chorus)
Cause I'm walking down the road Ohh Ohh
and my elephant's stomping me, bumping me, jumping me
I'm swimming in the pool Ohh Ohh
and my killa whale is killing me, chillingly, come rescue me get help for me
(Bridge)
They're slip and slidey
They smell untidy
They Kick and choke and
Scratch and bite me
Now I know someday It could end up ugly
But there's nothing like your own monkey
(Verse 3)
I'm Living Large on these few Acres
My pets upset the neighbors so I try to do em favors
Hope my confession doesn't make me humble
But I wouldn't make it in the Jungle
(Chorus)
So I'm walking down the road Ohh Ohh
And the Kangaroo is kicking me, Skillfully get help for me
walking down the road Ohh Ohh
And the Brown Bear is happily, slapping me, get help for me, come rescue me
(Verse 4)
All together these associations
Cause me isolation, nervous adaptations
I am a standout wherever I go
I just hope I never star in the show
As I'm walking down the road Ohh Ohh
And my elephant's stomping me, bumping me, jumping me
Walking down the road Ohh Ohh