Soft scoops of icecream | ASMR Baking Soda |
Sifting: 3:39
Pebble crushing: 4:15
Silky powder play: 4:58
Faster edit: 5:43
Why does everything look better in my head?! I did use an actual ice cream scoop spoon thing to make the scoops.
Thank you for your kind comments on my last video, I’m not in the right head space to respond. So if you’re wondering what happened, my fiancé and I broke up. We broke up last year and then sort of patched things up until recently. I’ve put up with a lot because my self esteem was so low and I believed that I’m not good enough to find someone else. He got so angry with me when he learned that I had mentioned him a few times on my channel, I did tell him it was all praise and how proud I was of him, and that I didn’t share any personal details. So I’ve had to go back and delete everything that’s to do with him. For the last 4 years we’ve been more like friends, there wasn’t any romantic business between us. I’ve put up with a lot over the years, I don’t think he’s ever cheated on me, but whenever something went wrong it would always be my fault, and our arguments would be him yelling at me, me sitting there crying. He’d make me feel suicidal and like I was the worst person. I very rarely raised my voice with him because I was always scared that he’d leave me. Now that I’ve lost a lot of weight, I wouldn’t say that my confidence is through the roof, I’m slightly more confident, I’m very self conscious about my body after losing so much weight, I have keloid scars on my shoulders. I don’t feel attractive enough to start dating again. When we broke up last year, I developed feelings for someone else, one of my patients believe it or not 🥴 I told him how I felt and he didn’t reciprocate, I think that tripped me back into going back to my ex- the feeling of not being good enough. But we both did things wrong, I should have broken up with my ex when he wanted to leave me, I’ve lost count of the number of times he’s wanted to leave me over the years. Do you know why I had weight loss surgery anyway? I was on the NHS waiting list, then ex was angry and told me he hated the way I lived and that I was bringing him down, and he shouldn’t have to be stuck with taking care of me later in life because I was too lazy to lose weight. And that’s why I went privately with the first surgeon I found in google. Obesity is not straightforward, and I obviously know that because of my history. There are so many hormones involved with satiety and hunger.. I only feel ‘normal’ when I’m on my injection, plus I’ve had an eating disorder for years.. I was working full time in Cambridge, my days are typically 12 hours long, so I’m exhausted and didn’t exercise, and he hated that about me. He said that he didn’t want to be weighed down with that because my condition was self inflicted. And now that I’ve lost so much weight, he doesn’t say anything about exercise; I mean I don’t exercise now because I’m exhausted and I have severe orthostatic hypotension.. but yeah. So a little while ago, he was having a go at me for something that wasn’t my fault, and I decided that I’d had enough. I’d rather be single and happier than be his emotional punching bag. I know he’s got his own issues and he’s stressed all the time, but don’t I deserve someone who doesn’t treat me like that? I would never treat him or anyone like that. Ok I’m getting a bit sad writing this all out now. I need to move out of this house and I’m thinking of starting my life over in Cambridge. I’d be a resident at the practice I work at now, and I’d be able to hang out with my work friends. For the last 10 odd years my ex was everything, I didn’t bother with friends and all that kind of stuff because he was the centre of my attention. I’m 33 now, I was engaged for 8 years. There was always something that would stop him from wanting to get married. First it was my weight, he would say “don’t you want to be thin for our wedding photos” and now it’s this training program. I still carry the fact that he wasn’t there for me the days after my surgery, when I had to go back into hospital I cried on the phone to him upset that I had to go back, and he was annoyed with me. I put up with all that because I had no self worth. But anyway, I feel scared to be on my own after 10+ years, I know I’ve said a lot of the negative stuff here, but I do know that he genuinely loves me and wants me to be happy. I want him to be happy too. He told me about this girl that he had “gotten close to” (his words) when he was doing his placement in London in 2020, that was before I had even met this patient of mine, that makes me feel a bit less guilty for having a crush on someone else. But I did only act on it when we were broken up. I don’t know if he’s acted on his thing at all, but we definitely weren’t broken up then, many of the fights around that time were him calling me a “paranoid freak” because there were a few occasions when something didn’t seem right in his behaviour. Makes sense now.