Other people's opinions, brainwashing and inner core
How can I build my confidence and inner strength? How can I unhook myself from the trap of approval, so I'm not dependent on other people's opinions? How can I protect myself from brainwashing and mind control?
Depending on other people's opinions is a mousetrap—your sense of self is held captive by another person. If they doubt your importance, you experience an emotional earthquake. Just someone else's opinion, someone else's thought, can shatter your reality. That's just the power of thought.
This gives rise to a burning desire to take revenge on those who have offended me, to prove that I'm not creepy, but awesome. "And anyway, it's they themselves who are creepy!" So that those who dislike me will lose to you, humiliate themselves, and then regret it and kick themselves. Such painful desires are sometimes nurtured for years. They can influence major life decisions.
Relationships are sometimes held together by this same hook. You meet someone who doesn't really like you. It's as if they think they're superior to you. That's what's so appealing. You want to win them over, to prove that their arrogance was in vain and that you're much better. And if they fall in love with you, the goal is achieved, and your interest in them fades. This relationship initially served a toxic purpose—to boost their self-esteem at someone else's expense.
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