Sexual development and behavior in young children
Due to the taboo of children’s sexual development, many parents find themselves uncomfortable when faced with their 2 year old undertaking self exploration and curiosity of their genitals, or when found playing with another kid“ show me yours and I will show you mine” parents should understand what constitutes normal sexual developmental behavior throughout infancy, childhood, and preadolescence, in order to help their children develop a healthy sexual life and sexuality. A parent’s attitude and reaction towards a child’s behavior such as masturbation may not decrease the child’s behavior, and may instead lead a child to experience feelings of shame, guilt, and anxiety. Feelings of guilt may be carried into adulthood influencing their future sexual life and sexuality. Understanding masturbation or sexual play as normal in development vs. inappropriate behavior that signals possible trauma is important in order to be ready when faced with this behavior.
Throughout development, sexual behavior and exploration are present as early as infancy
Lets look at healthy sexual childhood behavior:
Infants begin to explore their bodies with curiosity from as early as 12 to 15 months. a child may touch his/her genitals in public or in private. Infants learn through their developing senses that touching certain areas of their bodies is pleasurable- this behavior’s purpose is for soothing rather than sexual pleasure. They may also display behavior such as rubbing against soft objects.
genital play may begin as early as age two, in which children display mutual interest in seeing eachother’s genitals. This behavior is not for sexual gratification, but out of curiosity and exploration.
Children ages 4-6 more commonly play doctor or “ I will show you mine if you show me yours” with children of their own age. Children begin to show curiosity about other’s bodies by asking questions regarding other’s body will begin to mimic behavior they see such as kissing or holding hands. At this time, children may engage in play with the same sex due to an increased play time with children of the same sex- this does not indicate a child’s sexual orientation!!!
During school age, by age 7 a child will begin to conceptualize and understand gender roles, internalize family values, and what is important to a parent will be important to the child. Due to the understanding and expectations in our society of gender and sexual behavior they will begin to be more private regarding their sexuality and sexual behavior as they hit the beginning of puberty. Here, the beginning of sexual attraction and interest in others begins. Preadolescents begin to display curiosity and interest in the other or the same sex romantically and sexually. Furthermore, they will display curiosity about sexual behavior performed by adults, and may seek to learn information from outlets such as tv and media to learn about these sex and sexuality. Here, they will begin to masturbate for pleasure.
Educating parents in developmentally normal sexual behavior as a key to children’s understanding of their bodies will also help parents distinguish between possible sings of trauma vs. normal development, and should not always be alarmed by their children’s sexual behavior since masturbation and sexual play are normal exploratory behaviors