IT'S NOT GOODBYE...
Damn. How am I going to do this?
I’ve stared at the draft of this video for days now, in one part because I’m not used to writing scripts for these things, but another because this… this is going to be really hard to do. A lot of you are probably really disappointed that this hasn’t gone back to your regularly scheduled upload of LGBT content, but I’m going to ask that you sit around and listen to this one, because it’s pretty important. It’s life changing, and unfortunately, it’s made me rethink my life in a way that I’ve never had to before.
There’s no easy way to say it, so I need to just rip the bandaid off and do it: the channel, and Madam Wigglesworth, are going on a hiatus.
You all know there have been pretty massive changes to my life lately; I’ve left my partner of 10+ years, moved back to the US, and am in the process of getting my life back together and rebuilding myself in ways I’ve never done before. They say the biggest stresses in life one will go through are moving, divorce, and a sick family member. Well… I’m 3-for-3, but last week I got a fourth that really put some things in perspective.
Transparency has always been a big thing with me and this channel (in as much as I feel safe revealing, anyway) and I’ve always been in complete control of just how much I tell you, so I’m going to ask your understanding when I say that this was something I’d have to conquer anyway if the channel continued to grow the way that it was. However, the hard core reality was so intense I was literally ill for days, and am just now recovering from it. This issue basically kicked me in the ass to get a job to cover payment for something I don’t know how I’d cover otherwise, and, if I’m being honest, has killed my creativity in a way I don’t know I’ve never felt. What started as an escape and outlet has turned into something that gives me anxiety just looking at it.
There’s a lot happening in my life, friends.
I’ve always told you it’s okay to be selfish and focus on you if you need to.
It’s time that I’ve done the same for myself.
The channel and the content is going to stay up. Commissions are closed indefinitely and Patreon will be adjusted to only $3 and $5 tiers to keep the NSFW stuff behind a paywall. However, there won’t be new content for the time being. I need to be selfish with myself, and the pressure to come back, real or imagined, is something I don’t have to have in my life right now. It’s simply too much, and honestly, feels very unfair to leave people hanging with commissions I don’t have the energy to make.
Some of you are probably really disappointed, or even angry. I get it. But I’m not going to apologize for taking care of myself. Some of you might take this news really hard, and I understand that, too. I want to instead encourage you to believe in yourself. Whatever you’ve gained by watching my channel is something I’ve always believed was inside you all along. I might’ve helped you see it, but you always had it.
Before I sign off, I really want to say thank you. Madam Wigglesworth was a character that I really needed at the time of her creation, and I’ve never felt that more clearly than right now. You guys talk all the time about how I’ve changed your lives, but I really can’t emphasize enough how much you’ve changed mine. I’ve found friendships and partnerships and support in ways I never would have gotten if I hadn’t taken a chance on this ASMR voice acting thing, and damn, do I consider myself profoundly lucky. I’m sitting in a home I can afford, on an adventure I was able to take, to make one of the hardest changes of my life, all because you guys believed in me. Because you wanted to help me. I don’t know how to express that I’ll forever be grateful for that. In a time of my life where I was rudderless, you guys gave me direction. I’ve no better way to say it: thank you.
Remember, this isn’t goodbye. You’ll still see me on T&D and those Twitch streams are still going to be a thing, if a bit inconsistent. However, it’s time to look out for me. Because of you, that’s possible. Don’t forget: you’re valid, you matter, and you have a role to play and a place to exist on this earth.
Take care, everyone.