THE 13TH WARRIOR (1999): Epic Disaster or Misunderstood Gem? | Four Play
The 13th Warrior (1999), directed by John McTiernan and based on Michael Crichton’s novel Eaters of the Dead, was one of the most infamous box-office bombs of the 1990s. Starring Antonio Banderas as Ahmad ibn Fadlan, the film endured a chaotic production where Crichton himself stepped in to re-cut the movie after runaway costs and creative clashes. The result was a strange mix of Viking epic, historical fantasy, and studio compromise that left critics and audiences baffled.
In this episode, Richard Lewis, MonteCristo, and Thorin kick off the “Spit Roast” arc, where each host picks a movie they like, knowing the others will probably hate it. Monte defends his fondness for The 13th Warrior while Richard and Thorin roast it mercilessly for its meandering pace, bizarre casting choices, tedious dialogue, and anticlimactic payoff. Along the way, they revisit the 1990s Michael Crichton craze, unpack the film’s troubled production, and debate whether it deserves cult status or its place in Hollywood disaster history.
Four Play is a film podcast that selects four movies around a genre, theme, director, or actor. Think of it like a book club for cinema! Just watch one movie each week and then join Richard Lewis, MonteCristo, and Thorin for film analysis, critiques, and banter.
🎬 Films in this Arc
1. The 13th Warrior (1999): Vikings, Antonio Banderas, and a box-office disaster
2. Revolver (2005): Guy Ritchie’s strangest and most hated crime film
3. The Beast Must Die (1974): Campy werewolf mystery with a killer twist
4. 500 Days of Summer (2009): Roger Ebert’s four-star “rom-com” punching bag
▶️ Watch the full Spit Roast Arc playlist:
• THE 13TH WARRIOR (1999): Epic Disaster or ...
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⏱️ Timestamps
00:00 Intro to the Spit Roast and why Monte likes The 13th Warrior
08:49 Antonio Banderas as Ibn Fadlan and McTiernan’s direction
15:43 Concept problems and the troubled production
24:29 Questionable casting and Crichton’s intervention
34:45 Meandering pacing and flat dialogue
45:35 Plot lines that lead nowhere and the twist debate
57:04 Ibn Fadlan’s absurd character arc
1:07:55 Boring combat and lack of premise
1:14:52 The film’s financial/critical disaster in context
1:26:38 Roasting Monte and final thoughts
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