Maxwell Dorian, Valedictorian
FAQ: Why was this video re-posted?
A: The original video's audio went out of sync with the video over time, so we re-posted the video in order to sync it and improve the resolution a bit.
If you'd like to check out the original low-res / out-of-sync version for some perverted reason, you can watch it here: • Maxwell Dorian, Valedictorian
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Think you have what it takes to be Valedictorian? Maxwell Dorian takes us through a day in his life.
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Here are the lyrics (in case you feel like geeking out):
MAXWELL DORIAN, VALEDICTORIAN
I SPEAK IN THREE WEEKS TO THE ENTIRE AUDITORIUM
HEAVY CORDS BUT I BEAR 'EM, MEDALS CHAFE BUT I WEAR 'EM
SIX STEPS TO ACADEMIC SUCCESS, NOW LET ME SHARE 'EM:
FIRST PERIOD, CALCULUS, EASY AS PI
BUT SUCKAS REAL AS i, THEY TRY TO SPY MY ASSIGNMENT
THEY'D LIKE TO DERIVE WHAT'S INSIDE OF MY HEAD
THAT'S WHERE I MAKE MATH MY MISTRESS, DENOMINATE HER IN BED
KANT KEEP UP WITH ME ONCE PHILOSOPHY STARTS
SO SMART I PICK SARTRE APART, DISCREDIT DESCARTES
I THINK THEREFORE I AM AT THE TOP OF MY CLASS
WHY AM I HERE? LET ME THINK, TO KICK ASS
A THOROUGH UNDERSTANDING OF THOREAU, THIRD PERIOD
A MYRIAD OF WEARY EYES READ THE (IRA) ILIAD
BUT NOT ME I'M A.P. THAT TEXT IS TOO TAME
THEY'RE STRIKING OUT WITH HOMER, I'M RE-JOYCE-IN' IN JAMES
P.E.'S NOT EXACTLY FOR ME, BUT I DON'T CARE
I'LL GET MY "A" ANYWAY-- IN BAND I'M FIRST CHAIR
PIANISSIMO, FORTISSIMO, I GOTTA BE HEARD
YEAH I NEVER MISS A CODA-- NEVER MISS A CODA-- WORD!
SIXTH PERIOD, HISTORY, TOP OF MY GAME
I'M LIKE NAPOLEON BUT TALL, WITHOUT A RUSSIAN CAMPAIGN
I DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE FINAL I'M A DOWNRIGHT HISTORIAN
....MAXWELL DORIAN, SALUTATORIAN
Special thanks to Tyler Jacobson for rocking out the sweet graphics and to Andrew Weed for some kick-A fx work.
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