Joel and Ethan Coen, 2016
Eddie: Gentlemen, thank you all for coming. I know you have parishes, flocks and temples making enormous demands on your time. But I'm sure you appreciate also the great masses of humanity look to pictures for information and uplift and, yes, entertainment. Now, here ar Capitol Pictures, as you know, an army of technicians and actors ant top-notch artistic people are working hard to bring to the screen the story of the Christ. It's a swell story. A story told before, yes, but we like to flatter ourselves that it's never been told wih this kind of distinction and panache.
Eastern Orthodox Clergyman: Perhaps, sir, you forget it's telling in the Holy Bible.
Eddie: Quite right, Patriarch. The Bible, of course, is terrific. But, for millions of people, pictures will be their reference point for the story. The story's embodiment, the story's, uh...
Protestant Clergyman: Realisation
Eddie: Realisation.
Rabbi: You 'realize', of course, the for we, Jews, any visual depiction of the Godhead is most strictly prohibited.
Eddie: Oh.
Rabbi: But, of course, for us, the man Jesus Nazarene is not God.
Eddie: A-ha!
Protestant Clergyman: Who plays Christ?
Eddie: Oh, a kid we're all very excited about, Todd Hocheiser. Wonderful young actor we found in Akron, Ohio. In a nationwide talent hunt. But Hocheiser is seen only fleetingly, and with extreme taste. Our story is told through the eyes of a Roman tribune, Autolochus Antoninus. Ordinary man, skeptical at first. But who comes to a grudging respect for this swell figure from the East. And Autolochus is played by Baird Whitlock.
Protestant Clergyman: Oh, my ...
Rabbi: Well, he is certanly a great talent.
Eddie: Now, 'Hail, Caesar!' is a prestige picture, our biggest release of the year, and we're devoting huge resources to its production in order to make it first-class in every respect. Gentlemen, given its enormous expense, we don't wanna send it to market except in the certainty that it will not offend any reasonable American regardless of faith or creed. Now that's where you come in. You've read the script. I wanna know if the theological elements of the story are up to snuff.
Eastern Orthodox Clergyman: I thought the chariot scene was fakey. How is he going to jump from one chariot to the other 90mg full speed?
Eddie: Uh-huh, well, we can look at that. But, as for the religious aspect, does the depiction of Christ Jesus cut the mustard?
Catholic Clergyman: Well, the nature of Christ is not quite as simple as your photoplay would have it.
Eddie: How so, Father?
Catholic Clergyman: I'ts not the case simply that Christ is God, or God Christ.
Rabbi: You can say the again. The Nazarene was not God
Eastern Orthodox Clergyman: He was not not-God.
Rabbi: He was a man.
Protestant Clergyman: Part God.
Rabbi: No, sir.
Eddie: But, Rabbi, all of us have a little bit of God in us, don't we?
Catholic Clergyman: Well... It's the foundation of our belief. That Christ is mos properly referred to as the Son of God. It's the Son of God who takes the sins of the world upon himself, so that the rest of God's children, we imperfect beings, through faith, may enter the Kingdom of heaven.
Eddy: So, God is split?
Catholic Clergyman: Yes. And no.
Eastern Orthodox Clergyman: There is unity in division.
Protestant Clergyman: And division in unity.
Eddie: I'm not sure I follow, Padre.
Rabbi: Young man, you don't follow for a very simple reaso: these men are screwballs. God has children? What, and a dog? A collie, maybe? God doesn't have children. He's a bachelor, and very angry.
Catholic Clergyman: No, no, he used to be angry
Rabbi: What? He got over it?
Protestant Clergyman: You worship the God of another age.
Catholic Clergyman: Who has no love.
Rabbi: Not true, he likes Jews.
Protestant Clergyman: God loves every one.
Catholic Clergyman: God is love!
Eastern Orthodox Clergyman: God is who he is.
Rabbi: This is special? Who isn't who is?
Catholic Clergyman: But hou should God be rendered in a motion picture?
Rabbi: God isn't in the motion picture!
Protestant Clergyman: Then, who is Todd Hocheiser?
Eddie: Gentlemen, maybe we're biting off more than we can chew.
We don't need to agree on the nature of the deity here, if we could focus on the Christ, whatever his parentage. My question is, is our depiction fair?
Eastern Orthodox Clergyman: I have seen worse.
Eddie: Reverend?
Protestant Clergyman: There is nothing to offend a reasonable man.
Eddie: Father?
Catholic Clergyman: The motion picture teleplay was respectful, and exhibited tastefulness and class.
Rabbi: Who made you and expert all of a sudden?
Eddie: And, what do you think, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Ehh... I haven't an opinion.
//El video tiene subtítulos en español.