Welcome to the least helpful Valorant map breakdown on the internet. Today we’re not talking lineups, not talking utility, not talking “pro strats” — we’re talking about why your favorite map says disturbing things about you as a person.
This is a full, completely unserious roast session on the entire Valorant map pool. If you take this video seriously, that’s on you, not me.
Maps covered: Ascent, Fracture, Lotus, Haven, Icebox, Breeze, Pearl, Split, Sunset, Abyss, Corrode, and whatever other geometry Riot decided to staple together this year.
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Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:51 Icebox
2:07 Ascent
3:28 Abyss
4:34 Haven
5:46 Sunset
6:44 Lotus
7:53 Fracture
9:05 Corrode
9:55 Breeze
11:05 Split
12:07 Pearl
13:10 Bind
14:16 Outro
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