If You've Only Got a Moustache
Another song about moustaches, this one a little ditty from 1862 by George Cooper and Stephen Foster.
In the words of Granny Weatherwax, "I aten't dead yet!" And judging from some of the comments rumours of my death have indeed been greatly exaggerated.
CONTENT NOTE: this video makes use of visual effects which require disclosure under YouTube's "altered or synthetic content" policy (to wit, digital moustache extensions)