Sexual Rejection Effect On Marriage
Have you experienced sexual rejection? What's the common effect of sexual rejection in a marriage? Watch Paul discuss in this video how sex plays a big role in your marriage.
Technically, sex is an animal act that is utilized in order to create more of the species. It's the drive to survive that is impacting the mind and saying we need more, we need babies so that's sex. Sex in a marriage isn't necessary, believe it or not. It's another tool that a couple which are two souls uses in order to create a bridge between themselves and this bridge let's not call it sex. Let's call it intimacy. It's a bridge of intimacy because there are other bridges of intimacy.
Communication -- just talking is also a bridge of intimacy when it's used for that purpose. A smile is another bridge of intimacy when it's used for that purpose. The key is intimacy, not sex. In our world, we're so sophisticated. People use sex for fun and you can but it's degrading to the soul if you overdo that. Sex is not meant to be recreational for human beings. It's meant to be a bridge for intimacy so the real problem isn't the sex but it's a lack of intimacy in the marriage and the rejection is the soul effectively telling the mind of the other person, "I don't really want to be connected to you even though I said when we got married we are soul mates." The message is coming through to counter that.
Why? There's something wrong, isn't there?
I mean the intimacy should be there. If it isn't there then something's wrong and what is wrong? It could be anything and here's the problem, here's the real problem. Let me tell you that I used to be a divorce mediator that's how I got into healing marriages. I used to end
them. I used to help people end them and then a young couple came to me and said,
"We don't really want to end our marriage but we don't know what else to do." Well, all of my clients were referred to me from therapists, couples counseling so they didn't know what they were doing obviously. And I said, "Okay, let's try. Let's try and heal your marriage. I was
a big expert on communication maybe it's all about communication." But I started to dig and I started to realize it's not about communication, it's about love.
Marriage is about love and I started to dig and do research and look at things and use spiritual principles and made sure that things lined up and I realize "Wow, this marriage thing is huge. There are so many moving parts but all of them are spiritual." It's this big beautiful spiritual path that no one knows what they're doing. They're not doing it right.
Most people get married like going to a theme park and getting on a ride. "Okay, we're married and that's not going to work. It's a path, it's a spiritual path used to help you as an individual evolve spiritually which means to help you evolve in love to learn how to love unconditionally.
You use intimacy to help you as an individual develop that. The big problem is that no one
knows. They don't know-how. They don't even experiment on their own because they don't know what the goals of marriage are which are the deepest levels of intimacy for the purpose.
Why did you get married?
You got married to be happy. Obviously, you're not. There's only two of you, what are you doing wrong? Well, the problem is it's mostly what you're not doing right you need to learn. Now, I wrote two books -- this isn't all a sales pitch by the way. The Marriage Foundation is nonprofit. We have counselors who you could write into who are not paid a commission for
suggesting the book or suggesting the courses.
This is not a sales pitch but I have something no one else has which is sort of like a complete template of marriage so you can understand it. However, if your marriage is really
sliding towards divorce and it probably isn't at this stage for you then you could use the course. You could write into the counselors to find out but you need to understand. You can't just get a tip here or a tip there or listen to all my videos or read all my articles. You
won't know enough. You got to learn it in a specific order -- it's worth it.
You got married to be happy, all the material I've put together is to teach you how to be happily married. Let's rephrase that -- to teach you how to be married so that you're happy --
that's it.
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