What is self-love? How to love yourself. Self-hatred.
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IN THIS VIDEO:
Self-love is a big, abstract, and vague concept. We'll break it down into pieces. We'll flesh it out and outline ways to achieve this state. We don't know what self-love is. The overused, pretentious phrase "you have to love yourself," overused in everyday life and psychological marketing, doesn't convey any personal meaning for most people.
What does it mean to love yourself? 3 short stories.
🔺"I got a manicure, and I'm starting to love myself," says the stressed-out Lena, a mother of two children close in age, on maternity leave.
🔺"I had a fight with my husband. He's completely gotten on my nerves. I need to love myself," says the usually reserved and patient Nastya.
🔺"I took a three-week online course, 'Love Yourself,'" Vika is taking her first steps in self-improvement.
Is this about self-love? Is it possible to learn to love yourself in three weeks? Even if the online course is good. Is getting a manicure about love? You can have a perfect manicure and appearance, but, for example, trade on that appearance or manipulate others.
Does finally saying what I don't like and stopping something unpleasant in my relationship with my husband mean loving myself? But still, these are the first, tentative steps towards self-improvement. This is something for each of these girls. You can have a perfect manicure and take dozens of courses, regularly and directly express all your complaints to your husband, but still not understand what it means to love yourself. Many try to love themselves through actions, through the external. Like these girls. But these actions are most often chaotic, irregular, with setbacks. Because behind them lies the internal state, which is primary and shapes the external. This is the foundation. Without a foundation, you can't build a house of self-love. So where do you begin to love yourself? I would start from the opposite.
How do you dislike yourself? How does your dislike for yourself manifest itself? For example, in self-criticism. Or in excessive demands on yourself, or in the inability to establish personal boundaries. We take one piece of this big elephant. And work only with it.
💗Self-love is...
🌱Trust. In your feelings, intuition, inner voice. And even your body.
🌱Attentiveness. Stop for a few seconds throughout the day and ask: How am I feeling?
🌱Attitude. How do you treat someone when you feel love for them? No, even simpler. When you want to share something selflessly. Just like that. It might be a momentary impulse. But there's a bit of love in it.
🌱Taking care of your resources. Taking timely rest and knowing your sources of recharge.
🌱Inner speech. Right on the topic of self-criticism. What's the opposite of it?
Talk to yourself with warmth and care. Instead of self-criticism, self-praise. Instead of self-blame, self-support.
What can I praise myself for today? Any "little things." Continued in the video.
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