A Check In After The Holidays + New Intentions & Boundaries For 2024 | UnMothered Podcast Episode 48
Let's do a little check in after the holidays! I know this new year can come with new intentions, but how about boundaries? What are you doing differently this year to find that balance of boundaries and peace with the difficult relationship with your mom?
I will ask some questions today to see if this is the year you will start taking care of your mental health and find a place to balance out the struggle of loving and setting hard boundaries in your relationships.
Ask yourself these questions:
1.) Why do you keep continuing the dysfunctional behavior? Is it out of guilt? Obligation? To whom? What would happen if you started saying “no” to her demands? Is that what you are afraid of?
2.) If you could think of a perfect situation where your mother is involved (or not involved), what would that look like? Could you actually do it?
3.) What steps can you take to stop repeating the same bad patterns this year and start being brave in what you really want your life to look like?
4.) Set an intentional tone. If you need to go no contact, that means no text, no phone contact, no going to her house, etc. It will be so uncomfortable, but unless she is willing to do the professional work to do things differently, this is your opportunity to live in your own truth. This is your time to set the tone of change. Are you brave enough to do it?
5.) If this is a time where she is intentionally trying to create a better relationship then this is an opportunity to work on your relationship with her. All of these questions and tips are to be clear to you through prayer, therapy, deep thought, and clear thinking. Don’t let your emotions lead you. The anger we feel when our mothers are not the protective adults in our lives is traumatic and triggering. It affects how we trust and love others. The only way out of this is to work on yourself and begin the change this year. Sit silently each morning with God and ask him to guide you through all the changes that will happen. Don’t react off your anger. Be direct and clear-headed with your intentions for change this year.
This year you need to take a hard look at what is working for you in all relationships so you can start being honest with yourself to enter into the year with the freedom that you deserve.
I want you to start this year with better, clear intentions of how you want to live your life. Your mom will probably never change, but you can!
Write out 3 specific things you want to do this year to start creating the life you want without all the chaos. Let yourself dream BIG.
You can do this, I believe in you!
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