You Slept With My Best Friend I Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: The two couples had been inseparable—neighbors, chosen family, godparents to each other's children.
She reaches out to Esther in despair after discovering that her husband had an affair 10 years ago with her best friend. For a decade, he kept the betrayal hidden while she believed they had built a loving marriage and family.
Now she's left questioning whether any of it was real. They both want to stay together, but she's trapped in doubt and grief, while he's desperate to repair what he's broken. What does it take to rebuild a relationship after a betrayal of this magnitude?
Chapters
00:00 What Happens After an Affair?
01:23 How Did the Affair Come to Light?
03:36 Is Guilt Keeping You Stuck?
06:38 What Did Childhood Teach Him About Love?
08:18 Does How You Find Out Change Everything?
12:26 Are You Arguing About Facts or Meaning?
15:54 What Was the Affair Really Giving Him?
22:23 Why Did Family History Make This So Much Harder?
24:35 Can Regret Actually Rebuild Trust?
25:57 Can You Stop Trying to Be Everything?
27:54 Is Supermom Mode Getting in the Way?
31:29 What Happens When the Affair Ends but the Energy Doesn't?
32:46 Can Tiny Moments Repair a Relationship?
35:47 What Happens When Anger Finally Has a Voice?
38:19 Why Did This Affair Happen Now?
43:44 What Does a Secret Leave Behind?
47:25 Can Remorse Restore Self Worth?
49:08 What Does Real Repair Actually Look Like?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or subscribe to her Substack Entre Nous for bonus content.