No Shield! No Shield! | Funny D&D Warrior Song And a DPS Tank
Funny D&D bardcore song “No Shield! No Shield!” turns one missing shield into a full party panic: full plate armor, two axes, no blocking plan, and a warrior who insists DPS counts as protection.
The party needed a tank.
They found someone in shining armor.
Then he reached behind his back and pulled out two bloody axes instead of a shield.
Expect fast fantasy rock, bardcore energy, pounding drums, crunchy guitars, two-axe chaos, tank jokes, party panic, and a chorus made for adventurers who know everyone loves a tank until someone has to be one.
Elowen says:
“Traveler, never judge a tank by the armor alone. Sometimes the shield is missing, the axes are spinning, and the wizard is suddenly reconsidering every life choice that led him to the front line.” 🍻🪓
Perfect for:
• D&D campaigns and tabletop RPG nights
• funny tank moments and party role confusion
• warriors, barbarians, fighters, and two-axe chaos
• fantasy rock, bardcore, and RPG party songs
• adventurers who wanted protection and got damage output instead
If your party has ever needed a shield wall and hired a walking damage problem, this one’s for you.
📜 Lyrics:
"Full plate armor? Nice... a tank!
...Wait, why are those AXES?!"
We spent three weeks in every town
Searching HIGH and low
For someone who could take a hit...
and still refuse to go!
The Wizard’s health is paper-thin
the Cleric’s nerves were frayed...
Then you walked in, a SHINING wall...
except you brought TWO BLADES!
The troll roared out
The battle joined...
We took our battle stance!
We waited for your MASSIVE shield
To lead the deadly dance
You reached behind your armored back...
We cheered with all our might...
But you pulled out TWO BLOODY AXES...
ready for the fight!
No Shield, No Shield, No Shield!
I brought two axes and a grin!
No shield, no shield!
I don’t block the blow...
I make the axes SPIN!
Everybody loves a tank, my friends...
but nobody wants the scars!
No shield, no shield!
I’ll still stand between the claws!
The troll swung HARD
The Wizard screamed
The Cleric lost his nerve!
And there you were...
a silver flash
With absolutely NO concern!
You shouted, "Look at my DPS!"
While nearly losing half your hair!
We hid behind a broken cart...
And offered MORAL support from there!
The beast was bleeding, turning fast
Its eyes found our Mage
A LETHAL strike came crashing down...
no spell, no shield, no cage
The party held its breath in dread...
by the gods...
THIS IS IT!
No Shield, No Shield, No Shield!
I brought two axes and a grin!
No Shield, No Shield, No Shield!
I don’t block the blow...
I make the axes SPIN!
Everybody loves a tank, my friends...
But nobody wants the scars!
No shield, no shield!
I’ll still stand between the claws!
Then heavy boots went charging in
Straight through the blood and fray
You dropped your shiny damage dreams...
To keep the beast at bay
You threw yourself between the Mage
And what would end us all
The bravest, dumbest sacrifice
Our party ever saw!
No Shield, No Shield, No Shield!
MY BODY is the SHIELD!
No Shield, No Shield, No Shield!
I won’t let you FALL!
NEVER!
No Shield, No Shield, NEVER!
You wanted someone built to block?
Well, HERE I stand for you!
I’m not your tank, that’s true
But I'll stand in front of you!
No shield, no shield!
I’ll still stand between the claws!
I didn’t bring a shield, my friends
But I won’t let you FALL!
Next time...
the Wizard takes the front
🗺️ Continue the Night:
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🎧 My Music is Available Here:
🟢 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5HsvT...
🍎 Apple Music / iTunes: / elowen-starfell
🎚️ Audio: AI assisted first draft, then refined from stems in a traditional DAW: arrangement, editing, mixing, mastering.
🎨 Visuals: AI artwork + editing.
🖋️ Lyrics: Handmade.
🕯️ Concept: Funny D&D Bardcore Song
#dndmusic #dndsong #dungeonsanddragons #bardcore #tabletoprpg #rpgmusic #fantasyrock #funnydnd #barbarian #elowenstarfell