The Hospital Bed Manager
A song about a creative solution to the lack of hospital beds!
And to be clear:
1. When I talk about a hospital bed, I of course mean a hospital bed including nursing and medical skills (Only a bed does no good!)
2. More hospital beds do not replace vaccines. Without vaccination, the situation would have been much worse! (and more people would have become seriously ill)
The Hospital Bed Manager
Music, lyrics: Henrik Widegren
The hospital bed manager sat at the computer one night and felt her gastric ulcer grow
I have no beds, there is no money and I'm not a witch
It's full in ward one. It's full on ward two. All the beds have run out
But then the nurse called, she sounded a little gloomy: "Three more are coming from the emergency room"
So the bed manager broke down at the computer and dreamed of her vacation
To travel here and there like a satellite, and the sun goes down in the west
Then she figured it out: We should emulate astronomical principles
All patients should move around like small satellites
One patient from ward one to ward two, and one patient from ward two to ward three
And one patient from ward three to ward one, and then we do it again
Because if the patients are in circulation, the entire healthcare is used
And no patient is placed in the corridor. That must be the solution
So the bed manager stared at the computer and thought: It seems that
With this solution our occupancy will be more than one hundred percent
Because the word "homeless" in the hospital always sounds a little bad
But you can not be homeless if you are in motion
So the bed manager took a break at the computer and looked at the moon
Which is a small white permanent satellite, and then the phone rang
It was from the emergency room. The voice was cracked: "The bus driver fell asleep"
"He had drunk gin. We must admit fifteen more patients."
Five patients from ward one to ward two, and five patients from ward two to ward three
And five patients from ward three to ward one, and then we do it again
The transport department takes care of the logistics and we get more beds in our ward
And the boss will not be disappointed. The ultimate solution
But early the next day, exhausted but happy, the bed manager was awakened
Of a telephone signal. The boss said, “Good day. Come to my office right away! ”
So the bed manager gave up her computer and went through the hospital park
Completely normal, but she was mentally preparing to be fired
But the boss shook hands and opened Champagne, and the whole board was euphoric:
“Innovations like this save millions. You are a genius!”
So the bed manager got her computer back, and she felt inspired again
And she built wide corridors, like avenues, for the flow of patients
Entire ward one to ward two, and entire ward two to ward three
And entire ward three to ward one, and then we do it again
The rattling of all the beds makes us save money
Cash flow is patient flow. The final solution!