Love
Subtitled, in case you can't parse my delivery.
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I miss that one sort of love.
I have no misconception that I am lonely. Despite my introversion, I have a wonderful family who love me unconditionally, and am lucky enough to have friends who cherish me, and I them.
And yet, I know I miss that one sort of love. The kind you find from a certain, special sort of partner(s).
I even have longtime friends though. People who I hope I will get to keep in my life for as long as they and I live. I know that we may grow distant, or that I might encounter new friends, but such is the nature of living among others.
It's a love I didn't even know I could participate in. I had assumed that I was incapable as a younger, smaller person.
A love where you trust and forfeit your whole soul to the other person, and they do the same to you. A brutal, painful sort of love, that when it ends, invariably leaves me crumbled and broken.
But I still seek it out. I must. In the moment where that love can be kindled, it burns with such an incandescence that I cannot fathom, and in that crucible my soul is reforged.
[I am a mosaic of everyone I have ever loved, even for a heartbeat.](https://viridianmasquerade.tumblr.com...)
The foundation of my soul is still constructed from those other sorts of love. I am filled full, and perhaps even beyond, with the love my friends and family offer, and I hope that I might be such a useful component to them, too.
I know that there is more to build upon, though. My soul's foundations and structure are laid, and await purpose.
I look forward to the next time I get to continue this construction. I don't know what sort of shape it will take. In fact, that is the exquisite, imperfect, and incredible thing about that sort of love. To take my existing soul, and imbue it with such a unique quality, a quality based in the connection it is constructed out of, might appear in so many different configurations. None are the same as the last, but neither are any of them particularly better than that which came before, in that they are all unconditionally beautiful.
I know that I have only scraped the surface of this sort of love. That it can, in fact, become so much more intricate than I have yet had the chance to explore. I can sense its potential detail, the fractal intricacies filling out far beyond my wildest imagination, like layers of the universe unfolding before a telescope, then an eye, then a microscope.
It may be weeks, or it may be years. I know I will find that sort of love again, probably when I'm least anticipating it.
It's gonna be so cool. Happy pride month.
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Filmed in the [Breezing In The Epilogue - 終末のそよ風](https://vrchat.com/home/launch?worldI...) VRChat world