Things You Don't Say to Your Wife! (with lyrics) Paddyman
This is a great parody of the Greenday song - Good Riddance (time of your life). The talented accordion player Declan Fahy agreed to join in and play this one for the craic too. A friend told me about the song, but the The lyrics of the parody were written by Tim Hawkins.
I thought it would be a good one for TV alright! The lyrics are pasted below --along with an extra verse that I peform live at some of the gigs - yeah - the dirty verse written by Paddyman - but not for TV!
THINGS YOU DON'T SAY TO YOUR WIFE:
Hey Honey Have you gained some weight in your rear end?
That dress you wear reminds me of an old girlfriend
And where d'ya get get those shoes, I think theey're pretty lame!
Can you stop talking cause i'm trying to watch the game!
If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life,
these are the things you don't say to your wife.
I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday
I didn't ask you cause i knew it'd be ok!
Go make some dinner while I watch this fishing show
I taped it over our old wedding video!
Chorus
Your cooking is okay but not like mother makes
The diamond in the ring I bought you is a fake
Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill?
Happy anniversary, I bought you a treadmill!
Chorus
EXTRA VERSE ( by Paddyman)
How many fellas have you slept with in the past?
Would your sister have a threesome if I asked?
Did I once see you in a porno video?
The tattoo on your lower back makes you look like a ho!
If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life,
these are the things you don't say to your wife.
If you don't wanna have your balls cut off with a knife
these are the things you don't say to your wife!