THE MIDDLE AGE by Tony Head
One of my older songs, which grows more and more relevant with each passing year.
Daddy, what is middle age?
The middle age is very sad
The middle age is very dumb
The middle age is what you get
When you don't listen to your mom.
The middle age feels like a yoke
The middle age looks like a slug
How did we manage to provoke
This beast to rear its ugly mug?
The Middle Ages were so dark
Just ask the poor old Joan of Arc.
I know exactly how she felt
When my hot flashes make me melt.
How come nobody told us when
We were nineteen it laid ahead?
We would have thought of something then
How to avoid it till we're dead.
But now my friends it's much too late.
We had been ambushed unaware.
How can we fight the evil fate
When we're too middle-aged to care?
It's a disgusting dirty curse...
Please, Daddy, can we skip this verse?)
OK.
Like a contagious disease
It's spreading all over the Earth.
Somebody stop the bugger please,
Before it's gotten any worse!
I'm sure they'll give the Nobel prize
To those who come up with the cure.
Receiving keys to Paradise,
The joyful human race will roar:
"Bye bye you dreadful middle age!
We sing in every human tongue.
We're turning over a new page.
Now we shall be forever young!"