1-(900)-BAN-ANAS
Call The Banana Hotline tonight and speak with over 3,771 semi-doable singles in your area tonight. They thought they could stop us but they underestimated our determination, our discipline, and our love for party lines and outrageously expensive and outdated means of stimulation. They refused to listen and they refused to release [REDACTED] from the black site where they've imprisoned him and his inner circle. The time is close at hand and we will not rest until all of our board members are liberated and their laundry is dry cleaned and pressed.
Don't let another night go by wallowing in your loneliness and crippling depression. Put down the gun and pick up the phone.
All major credit cards are accepted and a few of the minor ones too.
Standard long distance rated apply.
$7.99 for the first minute and $2.99 for every additional minute.
Those prices are totally BANANAS but they won't last forever. So grab your credit card or whoever's credit card and call The Banana Hotline now. #synthwave #1980s #cyberpunk