Stop Making These Mistakes Over Again - This Is How They Destroy Your Child's Life
Let's face it — parenting is hard. Mistakes are inevitable. Luckily, most of them can be fixed with time and attention. Some parenting mistakes have a deeper impact on our kids than others, and so it's worth learning about how to shift our behaviour as soon as possible.
The first type of mistakes is overpraising. Over-praising and using positive reinforcement: using phrases such as ‘good boy’ and ‘good girl’ and praising everything children do well to reinforce their good behaviour is a very common trait. Unfortunately, using such ‘evaluative praise’ and descriptively praising every good behaviour is a form of reward that they will come to expect as motivation to want to do things in the longer-term. For example, research shows that a child who is praised for being a ‘good sharer’ is likely to become less generous over time than one who hasn’t been praised this way. Using evaluative praise such as ‘you are smart/clever’ can also make them afraid of not living up to this ‘label’ and our expectations of them, and this makes them less likely to take on new challenges and more afraid of making mistakes.
Another toxic parenting mistake is overprotection. Over-protecting: in this day and age, parents are becoming more anxious and over-protecting children. By over-protecting them, we prevent them from making enough mistakes, which if handled well, are invaluable opportunities for learning. Although protecting our children and stopping them from making mistakes may sound like a positive thing, we are in fact inadvertently denying them the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and take responsibility for their own actions. We are also preventing them from building their ‘frustration’ muscle by not allowing them to face difficult emotions such as anger and disappointment. Unfortunately, protecting our children from challenging emotions doesn’t prepare them for life in the ‘real world’ where we face such challenging emotions on an almost daily basis. The implications of this are that we are now faced with a new generation that is becoming increasingly dependent on their parents to do things for them, and who are less resilient to the trials and tribulations of adult life. What we must strive to teach our children is that adversity is a part of life and in order to be prepared for all the challenges that life will undoubtedly throw their way, they need to learn skills that will help them cope and ultimately grow from their experiences.
Want to know more about the grave parenting mistakes? Watch this video till the very end!
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