What was the hacking scene like for eLiTe (script) kids in Omaha in the era of the film *Hackers*? Let's take a trip back to the mid-90s when we rollerbladed everywhere, and three-way handshakes were loud. A time when the web was new, and the 'Net was just about to graduate from its friendly, trusting, academic beginnings to the hellscape we enjoy today (and which pays our bills). We won't pwn a Gibson, but we'll relive hax0ring Unix boxen, a NetWare server, and maybe even some VAXen. Nostalgia brought to you at 9600 bps thanks to the statute of limitations!