What to do when your avoidant partner is questioning the relationship
You think everything is going great, but your partner has one foot out the door. What do you do? Wait around or walk?
Original dilemma:
I’ve (29F) been dating my gf (32F) for 4 months. Slow burn, great communication (talked things through, no arguing), consistent, etc. We spent more time together in Dec and got closer. End of Dec, she met my parents. Everything was going great. Then, almost overnight for her, she started to panic about how close we were getting, shared fears of losing her independence, fears of long term commitment, and started to pull away/distance herself. I pushed her to talk about this with me because I knew something was wrong (with the distancing), but she did not want to share originally. Now she’s not sure she wants to be in this (says she needs to decide). More background: I’m anxious/she’s avoidant. We discussed this very early on in dating because my last ex was avoidant and pulled away after a few months. I didn’t want to repeat. She told me she was working on her avoidant tendencies and wanted to be different (in our early conversations). Now she is going to start therapy this week (my request). Do I give her a chance/some time to figure things out or move on? I care about her so much and I know she cares about me too, but I also don’t want to abandon myself like I did in my last relationship.
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