Difficulties in Parenting Two Children | Consequences of Ignoring the First Child | Parenting Tips
Difficulties in Parenting Two Children | Bringing Up Your First Child | Dangers in Ignoring the First Child
In this video, I want to discuss the difficulties in bringing up your first child especially when you have two children and the age difference between them is approximately less than 3.
When a child is born and starts experiencing the attention given by his parents, he starts developing a crystal ego. For the child, it will look like the whole world is spinning around him. Everybody… father, mother, grandparents, uncles, aunts, they are all after him. When he cries, everybody rushes to attend to him.
That ego is needed in the beginning for the child to feel that he is accepted, loved and welcomed. But when the protection becomes too much, then it becomes a problem.
But many parents of this generation start giving too much attention and as a result a great egoistic child is born.
Now, the problem becomes severe when you have your second child within 3 years of gap between the two. Note that the problem is more intense when the two children are of the same gender. The first child starts seeing a drastic change in the way his parents were treating him so far. Their whole attention moves to the second child -- the first child finds it difficult to manage this. It becomes a repression. Jealousy and inferior feeling start settling in the mind of the first child. I have seen this in many families.
As a result, the first child will start behaving differently. Firstly, the first child will have an aversion to the second child for he has taken all the treasures he was enjoying all the while. Secondly, he will start to do things to gain attention from his parents in different ways. The first child will start to show his talents which the second child is not having and tries to get an appreciation for such acts. But in reality, the first child won’t get enough satisfaction in spite of doing all this. Eventually, the first child will start looking at the second as an enemy. The experience for the first is like living in HELL.
This is the essence of the issues in most families.
Now, let us look at ways to handle this situation. First thing first, when you have the first child, learn to say “No” whenever you should. This will give a great impact on the child’s growth. It breaks the ego. A “No” is an indication that the child has to fail at times. The child should face failures. Don’t be over-protective! If he falls down while playing, don’t rush to help him. Let him get up and continue playing.
And, when you have the second child, look out for reactions from the first. What the first child does when you are close with the second when your attention is with the second? If you can understand what is going on in the mind of the first child and when his desperate attention-seeking nature is obvious, then you can find ways to handle situations better. Remember: Even kissing the second child in front of the first will have a negative impact in the first.
First of all, you must make sure that your behavior is indicating you love both the children without any difference. Anything you do to the first, make sure you do the same to the second also. Of course, certain things are not possible for both, for example, feeding the first child as he is young and not feeding the second as he is not young. But make sure you give undivided attention to both the children.
Give the first child, a feeling that the second is his own brother and he should love him, guide him, and protect him. Give him responsibilities! If you can understand the situation and start making small moves to sort it out, you can bring peace in the mind of the struggling child. Happy Parenting!
If this is your first time here, please consider subscribing and hit the bell icon to make sure you don’t miss a thing. Thank you!
Tags:
Difficulties in Parenting Two Children,
Bringing Up Your First Child,
Dangers in Ignoring the First Child,
Parenting mistakes,
Parenting tips,
Parenting videos,
Bringing up children,
Bringing up children Osho,
Child behavior that is dangerous to ignore,
Child behavior problems,
Two kids at home,
How to raise emotionally healthy children,
Child Feels Ignored By Mom,
Parenting by Sadhguru,
The role of a parent,
How to raise a child,