Punish them so they cooperate.
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▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Video Summary ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
In this video, I'm answering a question from a dad, Captainpapabeltran, who posted this under one of my videos:
“Thank you, Noémie, for all your advice and these very concrete examples. With my four children, I admit that I sometimes struggle to get them to cooperate. I use negative consequences a little too impulsively and when I'm angry. As a result, it doesn't work as well for me as it does for you. I think it's necessary to take some time to reflect so as not to react impulsively. I'm going to try this for the next ones.” times.”
A quick recap on negative consequences. I made a video on this topic that I encourage you to watch, so I won't go over it again. However, what struck me about this comment is that this dad actually said: “Well, yes, I do give negative consequences to my children when they break certain rules or don't want to cooperate; but I do it in the heat of the moment, that is, when I'm angry; and suddenly I say, well, you haven't tidied your room, you won't go to your friend's birthday party. Suddenly I think it's more like a punishment. When you're angry like that, you don't have time to think.” That's not exactly what he said, but I imagine it. So what do we do? Because it's difficult to stop ourselves from being impulsive and angry, and we have to do something about it. In reality, you can't just pull a negative consequence out of thin air. Imagine this: we all know that if we're on the phone while driving, we'll get a fine. If I haven't filed my taxes on time, I know I'll get a 10% penalty. There are tons of negative consequences in life that make you know that if you don't do things a certain way, you'll get this or that. If you steal from someone, you know you could get a fine, a suspended sentence, or even prison time, depending on the crime you committed. So, we know the consequences in advance. That's my point.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ About my channel ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
I am a certified personal development coach (RNCP - a state-recognized qualification) and parenting coach, author of a best-selling book, speaker, and trainer.
But above all, I am a woman, wife, mother of three, and entrepreneur, founder of two companies (SAS MN3L Coaching and MN3L Formation).
Since 2014, I have supported thousands of people—women, men, young and old, parents, healthcare and childcare professionals, and entrepreneurs—through training programs, coaching, seminars, conferences, books, and even immersive experiences.
See you soon,
Noémie
#NoemiedeSaintSernin #PersonalDevelopment #Parenting