life is hard. I turned 20 and everything changed. taking a break.
10 months and I was able to do things I always wanted to do.
10 months and I put my success on the number of views and likes I received.
10 months and I am tired.
10 months and I am finally not feeling guilty for saying this is too much.
10 months of constant worrying about " will this be the video?"
10 months and I am tired.
I tried my hardest not to do this, I tried my hardest to say "maybe a week off and I will feel the spark I did in the beginning". And nothing came. Weeks of no inspiration, and juggling everything life has to offer. Youtube has been the most fun, liberating, and embarrassing time of my life. I enjoyed it, did everything I said I wanted to do and crashed. This is so upsetting for me to do this, but I genuinely can't do it anymore. I have no time for myself. I have no time to fully breathe. I don't have time to not feel about putting down my passion for something I know I am not going to be doing in the future. It doesn't make sense to me, and until it make sense I don't want to half ass video and give you guys vlogs that no will ever care about. Thank you to every 228 of you, please don't unsubscribe because this is not the end. I will be back. Sooner than expected hopefully. But in my absence I will no longer allow myself to feel guilt. Thank you for the support week to every 2 weeks.
So this is my message, taking some time off to figure out things. the type of videos I want to post, who I am, what I want to do. Thanks for something you will never understand.
19-20. bye.