Hara-Kiri (Official Audio) - Goodbye Blue Monday
There’s a speed camera in my head
Flashing me, telling me to slow down
But the breaks in this old shitheap
They don’t work anymore
And I’m backseat driving anyway
Just waiting on a breakdown
Or waiting on a spin out
I know I’m gonna spin out
And crash into a ditch
Let them identify my body
Notify my family
And then they’ll search through the wreckage
To find a piece of me, who I used to be
But there’s nothing left to find of me anymore
I can’t sit still now
Do anything for a way out
I got this minefield mindset, exploding at the seams
It’s a lock down lock down
You’re not getting in and I’m not getting out
Stumbling down the tightrope of reality and dreams
The psychiatrist is saying that I’ve started displaying
Troubling behaviour and it’s cause for alarm
A crisis referral’s got me running round in circles
Drug me, dope me, before I do harm
Push it all away Push em all away
Something’s wrong
Impulses firing
This impulse buying
I’ve no self-control
Something’s wrong
I’ll do anything gratifying
And it’s terrifying
I can feel myself letting go
Push it all away Push em all away
I’ve got everyone treating me like a stranger
And telling me that I need to make changes
And I know deep down that I am in danger
Of losing myself, of becoming someone who can’t get back
Get back get back
To what? I don’t know
But I’m feeling like I don’t even care
Get back get back
Gotta take your time, slow down,
Find out if there’s anything there
Cause everybody’s saying that I’m different
And telling me they’re starting to lose interest
But I’ve lost all hope of finding a reference
Of who I was now
Of who I am now
They found me
Dying in the sheets
They found me
Dying
This shooting star
Will crash down hard
And will scatter, will shatter me
Till there’s nothing left
When I’ve come to rest
And nobody to sift through the debris
I’m gonna do what I wanna do
Not gonna listen when they tell me to
Stop overthinking and drinking just to get through
Don’t wanna stop or recognise
I’m living a life I fantasise
I’m staying up, taking off, gonna split the skies
This shooting star
Will crash down hard
And will scatter, will shatter me
Till there’s nothing left
When I’ve come to rest
And nobody to sift through the debris
I’m too wired to be tired
I’m too bored, I want more
I’m getting haunted in the daytime now
By the things that go bump in the light
A sunrise through wild eyes
A sickline, a lifeline
I have a million things I want to do
And it feels like I’m running out of time
Fingertips reeking of cigarettes
I’m trying to make plans I’ll soon forget
Cause I’m drinking anything for days on end
To stop the never-ending feeling of discontent
It’s time for social media meltdowns
And ‘Lost In Translation’ marathons
With a broken compass stuck in my hand
To navigate a shitstorm I don’t understand.
With shaky hands
And nauseous turns
Palpitations
Carving arms
Empty bank balances
I will embrace all of
This is mania
I’ll make my own reality
I'll be the person I don’t want to be
Mania
I’ll make my mind fully defenceless
I’ll do what I want
I don’t care about the consequences
I’ve been playing with matches
Burning to ashes all that’s left of me
But when the smoke clears from my stinging eyes
All I can see is death in front of me
I’ve never hated myself so much
I’m finding shame but I’m losing touch
Opening my wrists while closing doors
I’ve never seen this much blood coming out of me before
Lost inside my mind
A mindset setting off a minefield
Tell myself that
It’s not real
It’s not real no
Oh god, this can’t be real
I’ve never hated myself so much
I’m finding my shame, but I’m losing touch
Opening my wrists while closing doors
I’ve never seen this much blood coming out of me before
You’re fuckin sick
You’re fuckin sick
You think your friends care, you pathetic fuckin prick?
Look at those arms
Look at those scars
They’re fuckin ugly and you know that’s what you are
When you fetishise your misery
The vanity of your self-loathing
Thriving on your medical history
Just quit your fuckin moaning
...
From Goodbye Blue Monday's album: “Let’s Go Goodbye Blue Monday By Goodbye Blue Monday”, an album by Goodbye Blue Monday.
Released March 13, 2023
Lyrics by Graham Lough
"Music" by Goodbye Blue Monday
Recorded & Mixed by James Johnson @ Tonegarden Music Studio, Edinburgh
Mastered by Ant Booth @ Kesbri Studios, Bolton
Produced by The Royal Dick Bar & The Southern Bar
Released via Make-That-A-Take Records
Graham Lough - Vocals / Guitar / Organ / Piano / Other Additional Shit
Sean Barnold - Guitar / Vocals / Claps
Ross Gammie - Bass / Vocals / Additional Percussion / Human Bowling Ball
Alberto Morillas-Bravo - Drums
Additional vocals by Jack Cuntingham (of former GBM glory); Deeker from Rad Apples; Brian from Conroy's Basement; Garry Biscuits from The Garry Biscuits Band
Unsolicited harmonies by Jon & Kev from Paper Rifles; Beth fae Gooch
Bagpipes by Martin Hay