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From the beginning of my life
I have been looking for your face
~ Rumi
All true love is absorption in “otherness.”. So, Instead of intellectual thoughts and explanation , more essential are the love feeling and surrender in a human FORM. The seeker of love and a devotee may concentrate upon the beloved with the heart until the self is totally effaced. one operates as if the self did not exist at all. This is the true fana. This is the annihilating in the beloved , in the spiritual guide, which leads then towards the higher souls assemblies, which is called in sufism fana-fi-Rassoul, or even in fana-fi-Lillah. .
So oneness happens between two , like it is said " Your flesh is my flesh; your blood is my blood.
Hazrat Sultan Ba~hoo (R.A) explained annihilation in the spiritual guide as in his holy book of "NOOR":
Annihilation in the spiritual guide means that seeker’s body, words and states become same as that of the spiritual guide. That is to say, the characteristics, behaviors, appearance and nature rather the entire existence of the seeker and the spiritual guide become one and the same. (Nur-ul-Huda-Kalan)
with this way the essence of beloved , Master will be manifest in seeker or lover being.
At dawn a moon appeared from the waves
And ascended, gazing down at me. Then,
Like a falcon snatching a bird in flight,
It snatched me up and flew away.
When I looked up I no longer saw myself:
Into that moon my body had eased, by grace
Of the soul in which I travelled, moon-driven
Until the secret of God’s revelation halted me.
~ Rumi
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Nine spheres of Heaven had merged in that moon;
And the sea washed over the ship of my being,
Breaking against me in waves. Again Wisdom’s
Voice boomed; as it happens so it occurs.
At every foam-fleck of the ocean a figure
Emerged and slowly disappeared, just as
My foam-flecked body, receiving a sea-sign,
Melted within and slowly turned to spirit.
Without the regal power of Shams of Tabriz,
Holding the moon or becoming the sea are dreams.