Relationships Part 2
Bridget Sumser and BJ Miller co-host the second in our series on all things relationships, and how they can change when illness enters the picture. Be it romantic partnerships, family dynamics, or friends, our relationship to ourselves, and to the world around us. Illness changes us and we may have to change our expectations on how we interact and connect as well.
For part 2, we got into the weeds of communicating, self compassion, where to put energies with existing relationships when our own inner needs are changing
We discuss:
0:00 Introductions
7:10 How can you be in this caregiver role without losing yourself?
8:14 Relationships are always changing -my capacity is changing, my world is changing and it creates new interpersonal challenges
11:00 Authenticity really matters in these dynamics
14:00 Communication and relationships are hand-in-glove, and what passes as communication? There’s a lot more than just the words
16:45 What to do when things remain unsaid and a person in uncommunicative? There can be power in telling someone else
21:55 Because things are hard, it can feel like things are going off the path, but that might be THE path
23:10 Attendee observation: how to respect your inner needs for space and time, while not ruining existing relationships. How to give yourself time for relaxation and love? You may be modeling so much that is new to you, and to others
30:00 Ultimately it might be more about knowing yourself, what is right for you? Even if it interrupts something for someone else. It may be the place where you have the most control. The fullness of life includes disappointing others
34:00 Thinking about the fact that we don’t expect “comfort” in a lot of situations in our lives - comfort is not reflective of big transitions in our lives
35:00 Being honest with someone living with an illness about their prognosis, WHEN do you choose to share this? Is it serving the person and helping them?
45:25 Thinking about SELF-Compassion, it’s a common trap to assume that the person who is sick needs the compassion. Can we assume benefit of the doubt for others, and for ourselves?
53:40 Attendee observation: after becoming chronically ill, relationships have changed - thoughts on navigating this reality? What can be really hard, is other people