Potato
Spud-tacular
Tubular Tuber
Meet Fred, my roommate’s potato
Purchased with intention
Succumbed to inattention
TV ad
Whiplash
Change of plans
Feeling capricious
Pork burrito, Sliced radishes
Nutritious, Delicious, No Dishes!
That’s fine
You’ll cook me next time
I’ve been training for this moment my whole life
Let’s see, will I be stewed?
Boiled or mashed?
French fried?
Sous-vide?
Main course?
On the side?
Distilled?
Bacon and chive?
No left or right riding the luge of the zeitgeist
TEMPVS FVGIT
One way ticket-tock
Don’t lose it
Can’t stop this perpetual metronome
Edible rhizome
taking up a life of its own
in my cabinet biome
Poor Fred
Existential
Wasted unrealized potential
Culinary staple
Brooding, bitter and hateful
Never got to be a plateful
Word to the wise
In avoiding an untimely demise
If your tater’s green, throw it out
Exercise some common-sense photosynthetic chemical defense:
Glycoalkalyoid
Inflamed thyroid
Stomach cramps
Death
Dizziness
Birth defects
Fred’s resentment is gastric torment
Stay away!
It’s starchy deadly nightshade.