Care Conversations
0:00 Introductions
3:44 Yes, there are pieces of paper involved in advance directives, but really - it’s about having conversations around difficult topics
6:12 Health care proxies can talk themselves out of what is written in a document, because they’re interpreting how they would think about the decision - the conversation is what’s needed to create more clarity
13:51 These are hard conversations because we never have them - 2 big reasons to have them: get more comfortable with the subject matter, and eventually for our own death and what it has to teach us
19:50 The things that are translated between people that don’t get transferred to a page is where a lot of the action is, the conversations can inform dramatically in ways a form can’t - if you don’t have these conversations, guilt can also start ruling our emotions.
22:27 The conversation, in a sense, is a little bit of a Trojan horse to forge deeper connections - it can bring you closer to people you love.
26:00 Asking questions and sitting to just talk is part of caregiving - it may be a gift to the person who is living with the illness. It shows that you care enough to look at the hard reality together
29:23 What are the effects on the bereavement process in families that have had conversations vs. those that have not?
38:28 it can be lonely for someone approaching the end of their life if they aren’t asked about how they’re feeling, how they’re thinking about their prognosis, what they want for the rest of their lives
44:39 Information on the Death Deck and the EOL Deck that use humor and multiple choice questions to start discussions: https://thedeathdeck.com/
47:18 Q&A Examples from the Death Deck from co-hosts
53:05 Question from attendee: how to ensure that specific people can’t make changes to your advance directive wishes?
01:00:12 Are there any specific rules for advance directives when traveling? If you are someone living with serious illness, we suggest bringing your advance care documents with you when traveling
01:02:56 Q&A from Death Deck: Writing your own obituary?