When "Yes" Becomes "No"
What was originally a “Yes”, can become a “No” and allowing ourselves the space to change our minds is important. Tom Grothe and BJ Miller discuss what factors affect our decisions over time, the value in change, as well as how determination can steer us away from reexamining changing circumstances.
We cover:
0:00 Introductions
2:15 When Yes becomes a No, or when a plan changes for your care or diagnosis
3:22 Decision making, when you’re processing what to do with new information. Decision making changes over time based on how illness progresses
5:48 Factors that will most likely affect your decisions
8:38 What is your primary goal? It may change over time. And two people will have different goals for the same diagnosis, the primary goal is up to each of us
16:11 The importance of changing our minds, especially as quality of life shifts. It’s OK to shift your primary goal
22:38 Grit and perseverance - you have a diagnosis, you made a plan, how do you then persevere to focus on your primary goal? But sometimes, the grit is at the sacrifice of flexibility. How to persevere toward your goal, while being open to change?
31:40 The value of changing your mind, of changing yourself over time
39:13 Change and culture - our primary goals are influenced by our cultures. Our family, our heritage, our community
43:23 Everything changes. so of course our goals will change as illness progresses. change allows us to reassess what’s our reality now. We encourage you to embrace change.
47:16 Comments from attendee living with a serious illness. How making choices can change: starting with literature and medical information, vs. later on following their heart. the first goal was to leave, then what does it mean to me to live WELL