Batman vs Bruce Lee: who would win in a fight?
The most iconic name in martial arts: Bruce Lee
And he HATED traditional martial arts. He called them “the classical mess”.
The most iconic martial artists in the DC Comics Universe: Batman- a master of 127 styles.
If you want to get into a fight online, look no further than the comments section of any YouTube video suggesting that Bruce Lee was anything short of a demigod.
If you want to rile up the comic book nerds, just tell them that any other character could beat Batman in a fight.
Bruce had a grand total of five years of formal training in traditional martial arts.
Before donning the Batsuit for the first time, Bruce Wayne spent 12 years training with the world’s greatest fighting masters.
Bruce Lee said this of the “fancy mess” of traditional martial arts: ““You saw the tai chi, the self defence … well, I hate to tell you this. If you were there, Jesus, we were so embarrassed,” Lee said.
“…those son of a b***** are cowards, turning their heads and swinging their punches. After the second round they’re out of breath. I mean, they’re really pathetic looking, very amateur…
…I mean before they contact each other, they do all the fancy stance and all the fancy movement. The minute they contact, they just don’t know what the hell to do. They slip and they fell on their a****.”
(Batman said: “I won this fight before you even turned up.”)
And who is going to show up FIRST to argue with you defending Bruce Lee’s honor? Traditional martial artists. The very people Lee ridiculed and mocked. SO why is it that the very people who represent the “crystallization” or stagnation of martial arts when it becomes a “style” or a dogma… why is it that these are the guys who want Bruce Lee to be their Lord and Savior more than anyone else?
I’ve made a few videos myself debunking popular Bruce Lee myths and voicing my opinion when asked questions about who would win in a fight: Bruce Lee or (fill in the blank with heavyweight combat sports world champions) and I was immediately excommunicated from the church of Jeet Kune Do.
What would happen if Bruce Lee fought Muhammad Ali? How about Mike Tyson? What about other martial arts actors like Jean Claude Van Damme, Jackie Chan, Michael Jai White, Jet Li, Steven Seagal? While we’re at it: WHY NOT BATMAN?Seriously, why not? The deified, untouchable version of Bruce Lee in the minds of the fanatics is as much of a fictional character as The Dark Knight himself. So why shouldn’t we break this fight down?
But, but Ramsey, take this seriously… Bruce was the national boxing champion of Hong Kong! No, Bruce did a single schoolboy boxing match at his high school against another boy where he won his first and only boxing match ever via decision after 2 one minute rounds of questionable looking fitiscuff (there are pictures- look, they exist!)
But, but Bruce Lee could make an 800 lb heavy bag explode with one kick! And yet here we have footage of Bruce kicking his 64 lb heavy bag- nice kicks, yet no exploding punching bag.
But, but Bruce could kill anyone with the one inch punch! If Bruce Lee ever killed anyone, it was one of the greatest unreported Hollywood scandals of all time.
In short, the fanatic worshipers in the Bruce Lee cult have turned the man into something straight out of a comic book.
In the comic books, Batman always finds a way to win because he’s BATMAN! He has brains, he has brawn, he has unlimited resources, and most importantly, Batman has a hero’s plot-armor, so even if he’s up against characters with god-like powers such as Superman, Doomsday, or Darkside, the Caped Crusader will find a way to win.
But according to the official doctrine of the church of Jeet Kune Do, Bruce Lee not only had super-human powers and technique second to none, Mr. Lee had the same protagonist’s plot armor in real life! No matter the size, the strength, or the skill of his opponents, Bruce would find a way to finger jab and kick out the knees of his adversaries… because he trained fo’ da streetz yo!
Let’s visit the neighborhood of make believe together for a moment (it’s a fun place to visit, but you don’t want to live there) and find out what happens when the unstoppable force meets the immovable object: Batman vs Bruce Lee.
Why do we deify cultural icons? Where does the compulsion for hero worship or even idolatry come from? It’s innate… inside of us, the compulsion to worship- to look outside of ourselves for a greater purpose and meaning. Bruce Lee was a special guy with a unique kind of charisma who made us all feel special too. He made us all want to learn Kungfu and beat up our childhood bullies once and for all.Batman was a cultural icon that made scared little boys feel like they could be brave by facing their deepest fears head on. Batman taught us that we don’t need superpowers to be heroic, we need to to get out there and train and study and work. He helped us understand that a complete man is physically fit and mentally sharp.