The Groovy Wagon Experience (2021)
This cinematic masterpiece won every single award at the 2021 Cannes Film Festival. Critics have raved about the gripping plot, thoughtful character development, and pure emotional bliss that they experience for 48 hours after viewing this film.
"It was... wow, it was fantastic. Truly, one of the closest things that I can think of to eternal peace and freedom. I will present this at our next UN meeting, how inspirational." -Carl McCarlson, President of the Brown County, WV Board of Education.
(After his input, McCarlson walked over to a lake, pondering his existence. He asked a passerby if they believed in God and, upon hearing their response, starting spouting Canadian population demographics. While our interviewing crew left, he was on the phone with Mensa, begging through tears to be accepted, stating that he "has seen the light of the one true prophet, and can name every prefecture in Japan." His wife says that his spiritual revelation has had no significant impact on their marriage, but Brown County's high school graduation rate has increased to 104%. When asked how that was possible, she replied, "God works in mysterious ways." This comment incited her son, Patrick, 3 years old, to begin harping about dinosaurs and evolution, with him even presenting a 50 page APA-formatted research paper on the topic. After presenting this paper to the top Philosophy professor in Albuquerque, we found that it was nearly perfect, although Patrick did go off on a tangent about how Guymon, OK should be renamed Guyton, citing a GroovyWagon video as proof. We found no flaws in his argument, but gave him a 89.8% on his paper regardless.)
"Truly worth the wait. Honestly, I was surprised it took this long, but man oh man, was it worth it." -Polycrates of Samos, 524 BC
(After viewing this film, Polycrates became enlightened, and showed it to all of his constituents in Ancient Samos. His daughter in particular became enamored with the character known as "Groovy Wagon," and became very invested in his character lore. Two years later, after rigorously studying the words of "Groovy Wagon," she had a vision, and warned her father, Polycrates, to not go to Magnesia to visit Oroetes. Having only seen this film, Polycrates went anyway, and was murdered by the Persians. What a turn of events, right? Anyway, how about that throw by Justin Herbert? Wow, absolute beaut right there. You know he was drafted 6th overall? 6th!! And--get this--basically all of Reddit thought that he was going to bust! What a sick fucking joke. Absolute travesty. Love that guy, glad he went to my second favorite team. And yes, I liked the Chargers BEFORE they were good--I started liking them after their London game against the Titans in 2018.)