The Full Story: EATING 4 TWO
A narcisist attempts to keep up with her pregnant friends by announcing that she, too, is eating for two in this introspective ballad.
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Presented by MINORapocalypse & DeSimone Productions
Directed by Greg Emetaz & Amanda DeSimone
Written by Amanda DeSimone
"Eating 4 Two (The Tapeworm Song)" music & lyrics by Amanda DeSimone
Director of Photography: Greg Emetaz
Producer: Amanda DeSimone
Editor: Greg Emetaz
Assistant Editor: Amanda DeSimone
Sound Design: Doug Johnson
Mustache artist: Greg Emetaz
Dog: Ruby Dee
Lyrics:
So I just got back from my trip to Mexico. You know, I was down there eating the food, drinking the water, having promiscuous, unprotected sex with the natives. So, yeah, I picked up a little something. I'm now eating for two. I've got a tapeworm.
All my friends are getting pregnant, having babies and shit. I want to propagate, too, but I'm not one to commit. To hopes and dreams and goals and fun, they've all said their good-byes. I, too, am hosting a life, but I never compromise.
I like to drink and sometimes smoke, I like raw fish, I like to soak in Jacuzzis and hot tubs and whirlpools and hot springs. Sometimes I drink some wine and fall down the stairs, sometimes I drink some wine and fall up the stairs. My tapeworm no care.
Hey, Mom, it's official, I'm eating for two. Uh, no, I'm never getting fat. Yeah, I'm having a shower, I want stuff. I don't know when it's due, it's a fucking tapeworm.
I like looking attractive with no clothes on. I like looking attractive with clothes on. (There's no such thing as a pregnant glow, you just look fat.) My tapeworm's not lame like a baby, my tapeworm puts me first as it should 'cause I'm a lady. I eat a lot, yet I'm still thin.
And I made up my mind, and I'm keeping my tapeworm. I think I'll call it Fernando.