The Full Story: BUTT DRUNK
A trend-obsessed, hardcore party girl discovers vodka-soaked tampons as a means to avoid the side effects of heavy drinking in this Ke$ha-inspired, hip-hop/house production.
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Presented by MINORapocalypse & DeSimone Productions
Directed by Greg Emetaz & Amanda DeSimone
Written by Amanda DeSimone
"BUTT DRUNK (The Vodka Tampon Song)" music & lyrics by Amanda DeSimone, mixed by Nick Zagorin
Director of Photography: Greg Emetaz
Producer: Amanda DeSimone
Editor: Amanda DeSimone
Sound Design: Doug Johnson
Production Assistant: Jo Anne Kappel
Special thanks: Jo Anne Kappel
Lyrics:
You see me step up in the spot like I'm stepping on a yacht
You know I'm shit-faced drunk, but I haven't drunk a drop
You see my lipstick is intact 'cause I haven't raised a glass
Yeah, drinking to get drunk -- I have put that in my past
Whoa, everybody stay calm, let me drop a knowledge bomb
On a new phenomenon, the vodka-soaked tampon
All the kids are doing it. Don't believe me? Google it
I don't like things up my ass, but in this case I'm cool with it
My doctor says it's not okay, but I don't care what haters say
'Cause if I'm gonna bring it, player...yeah, I'ma bring it all the way
[Gaelic chorus:
gcónaíodh gcónaíodh gcónaíodh an siopa
gcónaíodh gcónaíodh sheacht an deighbhean, etc.]
No more fussin' with the taste of Tussin
I shove it up my ass and get back to bustin'
Fly moves and shit, I don't quit
I gotta hit this club but first submit
To a Breathalyzer, but just like Pfizer
I found a loophole, and I made it wider
So I step on through it, get down to it
I'm blackout drunk, but my breath won't prove it
They got me blowin' on this thing like I'm Jenna Jameson
So I huff and I puff, and I blow their house in
I'm the Big Bad Wolf, but I'm in sheep's clothes
I'm past the legal limit, but the cops will never know
[Gaelic chorus]
I wake up in a bathtub, rub-a-dub-dub
I'm missing a kidney, but I only need the one
So the day is young, and my buzz is done
Seems the party is over, but I shall overcome
Now, what shall I concoct? Hmm, let me check my stock
Yeah, I got some liquor and toxic shock
So I mix it up, and then I stick it up
I mean, it burns and all, but I don't give a fuck
'Cause when it's in, I'm drunk and, plus, I won't get plump
I got nothing in my tummy just some junk in my trunk
My butt's a red solo cup that I keep filling up
Yup, you know what it is, motherfuckers, bottoms up
[Gaelic chorus]