The Nightmare | Howard Ashman & Alan Menken | 1988 | Unused Oscarcast Song
Here is "The Nightmare," a song with lyrics by Howard Ashman and music by Alan Menken. It was written on spec for the 1988 Academy Awards and went unused.
This recording was provided by an anonymous source.
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Lyrics
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I AM A MOVIE BUFF
I LOVE THE CINEMA
SO I SEE EVERY FILM, I TAKE IT TO EXTREMES
THE TROUBLE IS THAT LATELY WHEN I PUT MYSELF TO BED
I'VE STARTED HAVING SUCH DISTURBING DREAMS
I AM A MOVIE BUFF
I NEVER MISS A ONE
BE IT IN TECHNICOLOR, FRENCH, OR BLACK AND WHITE
THE TROUBLE IS THAT LATELY WHEN I TUCK MYSELF IN BED
THIS NIGHTMARE KEEPS RECURRING EVERY NIGHT:
I DREAM THERE'S
THREE MEN AND A BABY
AND THEY'RE CHASING ME DOWN WALL STREET
WELL, I'M SWEATING WORSE THAN ALBERT BROOKS,
AND MOONSTRUCK IN THE HEAD,
SO I DUCK INTO A DINER
WHERE THE EMPEROR OF CHINA'S
HAVING TEA WITH BERTOLUCCI, WHOOPI GOLDBERG, AND THE DEAD!
AND THEN THOSE
THREE MEN AND THAT BABY
WITH THE AID OF DIANE KEATON
CATCH ME AND THEY PUT THE HEAT ON `TIL I FINALLY CONFESS:
I HARPOONED THE WHALES OF AUGUST, BUT THE TIN MEN MADE ME DO IT.
WE WERE SWIMMING TO CAMBODIA, NEAR DARK, WITH ELIOT NESS
THIS DREAM'S INSANE
IT FRIES MY BRAIN
DANNY DEVITO THROWS MY MAMA OFF A TRAIN
I HEAR A SHOUT!
AND TURN ABOUT ...
HERE COMES A PREDATOR AND I'VE GOT NO WAY OUT!
I SEE HER ...
GLENN KEEPS GETTING CLOSER
GLENN KEEPS GETTING CLOSER
WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, BANG! THAT CRAZY BROAD ATTACKS!
GLENN KEEPS GETTING CLOSER
GLENN KEEPS GETTING CLOSER
HELP! HERE COMES A NAKED YUPPIE LADY WITH AN AXE!
I WAS A MOVIE BUFF
NOW I'M A MENTAL CASE
THESE CRAZY DREAMS HAVE GOT ME LIVING IN A FOG
AND IF I HAD A CHOICE, I GUESS I'D NEVER GO TO SLEEP
I'D RATHER START A NEW LIFE AS A DOG!
THAN SEE THOSE ...
THREE MEN AND THAT BABY
AS THEY'RE CHASING ME DOWN WALL STREET
IN MY NEW FULL METAL JACKET WHICH THEY WANT BUT CANNOT REACH
I DROP BY THE HANOI HILTON
BUT THEY LOST MY RESERVATIONS
SO I SCREAM AND CALL THE ROBOCOPS AND HEAD BACK TO THE BEACH.
IT'S ALL TOO DEEP
I FALL ASLEEP
AND DREAM OF BOWERY BUMS WHO LOOK LIKE MERYL STREEP
THEN I GO GREEN
CAUSE -- CHANGE OF SCENE --
AND I'M IN ISHTAR BUYING STOCK FROM CHARLIE SHEEN
AND MEANWHILE
GLENN KEEPS GETTING CLOSER
GLENN KEEPS GETTING CLOSER
CLOSER TO MY DAUGHTER, MY APARTMENT, AND MY WIFE!
GO ASK ANYONE WHO KNOWS HER
ASK HER LAWYER, ASK HER GROCER
YOU REJECT HER AND IT THROWS HER AND SHE'S AT YOU WITH A KNIFE!
GLENN KEEPS GETTING CLOSER
GLENN KEEPS GETTING CLOSER
WHO'S THAT GIRL? WELL HERE'S A CLUE. MADONNA'S WHO SHE AIN'T!
GLENN KEEPS GETTING NEARER
SEE HER, FEEL HER, HEAR HER
MOMMY, WHERE'S THE RABBIT? WHAT'S THAT SMELL? I'M FEELING FAINT!
I'M SO CONFUSED,
I START TO TWITCH
THEN HERE COMES CHER, WHO'S BOTH A LAWYER AND A WITCH.
I CLOSE MY EYES
I MAKE A WISH
THAT I WAS SAFELY UP IN MAINE WITH LILIAN GISH
AND MEANWHILE ...
GLENN KEEPS GETTING CLOSER
GLENN KEEPS GETTING CLOSER
FATALLY ATTRACTIVE, THERE'S NO IFS OR ANDS OR BUTS
GLENN KEEPS GETTING CLOSER
GLENN KEEPS GETTING CLOSER
GIVING ME A SINKING FEELING SOMEWHERE IN MY GUTS
MOVIEGOING'S TURNED ME TO A SALIVATING YUTZ
DON'T TELL BARBRA STREISAND, BUT I'VE GONE GLENN CLOSE TO NUTS!
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