Anti-bullying week 2021 | A New Hope!
Let me start by saying, I don’t agree with all of Izzy Kalman’s teachings. But he may have something with his approach on how to deal with verbal bullying. According to some bullying experts we know that traditional ways of handling bullying seem to be ineffective. Susan Kavich a principal at Three Rivers School in Channahon, Illinois says “The popular model of encouraging parents and educators to report and punish bullying often escalates to more aggression.” So, maybe it is time to try something new.
As parents and educators, it is our job to teach our children to become adults. This means teaching them to behave and respond to situations the way an adult would. If someone hits me, threatens to hit me, or steals from me. I would definitely have cause to call the police. Those are all crimes and not things that I should just have to put up with. If your child has been hit, has been threatened to be hit, or been stolen from, you should be reporting this to the appropriate authorities. Whether that is their teachers and principals at school. Their coaches and any league officials if it’s happened in a sport setting. Or the other child’s parents and/or police if it is serious enough and has taken place on the street.
If as an adult someone calls me names or makes fun of me and I go to the police to file a complaint, I’ll likely be told that there is nothing they can do about it. The difference here between kids and adults, is that most adults have learned to deal with these things. Maybe there are some adults watching this video that need to learn how to deal with teasing or insults as well. We need to teach our children how to handle someone making fun of them or calling them names. This for the most part means giving them the tools to deal with these situations.
As with most things theory and practicality can be two very different things. I can sit and talk with my child about how to handle someone picking on them, things will be much different however when I’m not there and they are being tormented by a bully. They are out of their safe zone, with no one to protect them, and their adrenaline will be flowing increasing their anxiety. So, what we need to do is to role play these scenarios to give our children practice at dealing with an aggressor. We will start slowly and make sure that they are able to handle a little bit of pressure before moving on.
⏰⏰Timecodes⏰⏰
0:00 - Intro
0:45 - A new approach
1:07 - It's our job
2:12 - The necessary tools
3:00 - Write down what makes you great
3:50 - Bullies are not necessarily bad guys
4:30 - What if the bully doesn't get the reaction they are looking for?
6:02 - A few rules to remember
7:16 - Stick to the plan
7:57 - The bullying stops
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Rob Veltman
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