What's the News Today
A Contemporary Poem put to Music
Just another day in Paradise
Just another phrase filled with bad advice
What’s the message on the telephone
Can we all go home?
No, it’s not the time so get back to work
I would if I could but there’s no place to lurk
Sit down in the company cafeteria
Hope you don’t catch Covid or diptheria
Settle down to eat your lunch
Watch the news or the Brady Bunch
The stories unfold like they always do
Listen real close and you can take your clue
To get back to your desk at a quarter to
Music comes on and attention comes to focus
Time now for the news and a little hocus pocus
"Breaking news..."
"We're now learning..."
"Here's the latest on..."
"Tonight, we're taking a closer look at..."
"As we continue to follow this developing story..."
"Let's go live to..."
"We've just received this breaking news..."
"In the meantime, we're working to confirm..."
"We'll have more on this story later in the broadcast."
"We're following a major story developing..."
Touchingly they remark on the issue
As if they weren’t on T V they’d reach for a tissue
"Tragically..."
"Shockingly..."
"Incredibly..."
"Remarkably..."
"Unbelievably..."
"Horribly..."
"Astonishingly..."
"Startlingly..."
"Disturbingly..."
"Frighteningly..."
Time to change the subject and get on the way
They turn their heads to the camera and may say
"In the meantime..."
"Now, let's turn to..."
"Next up..."
"Before we go,..."
"And finally..."
"Meanwhile..."
"Elsewhere..."
"Switching gears..."
"Moving on..."
"Let's take a quick break and be right back."
They continue along without any slack
"But why?"
"How could this happen?"
"What does this mean?"
"Is this the right thing to do?"
"What's next?"
"Who's responsible?"
"Why should we care?"
"What are the implications?"
"Is there anything we can do?"
"Who's to blame?"
Time to get out and time to close up
Everyone has just about completed their sup
"In conclusion..."
"To sum up..."
"In the end..."
"Ultimately..."
"Finally..."
"Therefore..."
"Consequently..."
"As a result..."
"Hence..."
"So..."
Sometimes they come up short and have to add on
So they find some small thing to comment upon
"A major development..."
"A shocking twist..."
"A stunning revelation..."
"A dramatic turn of events..."
"A chilling new detail..."
"A disturbing trend..."
"A growing concern..."
"A pressing issue..."
"A pressing question..."
"A pressing need..."
Of course the news day just won’t go away
Unless some politician is given some time to play
"White House officials say..."
"The administration is facing intense criticism..."
"The president is under fire for..."
"There's a growing bipartisan consensus..."
"Both parties are divided on..."
"The political landscape is shifting..."
"The election is heating up..."
"The polls are tightening..."
"The race is too close to call..."
"The outcome is uncertain..."
On the tens then we see the weather explained
They tell when and if it will snow or rain
"Severe weather is impacting..."
"A winter storm is expected to bring..."
"Heat advisory in effect for..."
"Flood watch issued for..."
"Tornado warning for..."
"Hurricane making landfall..."
"Record-breaking temperatures..."
"Drought conditions are worsening..."
"Air quality alert in effect..."
"Dangerous driving conditions..."
Time to be worried about the economy
Every take time to think about money
"The stock market is plunging..."
"The economy is slowing down..."
"Inflation is rising..."
"Unemployment is increasing..."
"Interest rates are going up..."
"The housing market is collapsing..."
"The recession is deepening..."
"The recovery is fragile..."
"The economy is showing signs of growth..."
"The outlook for the economy is uncertain..."
Now it wouldn’t be good to have them feeling real safe
So they come up with things that make the folks chafe
"Police are investigating a homicide..."
"A manhunt is underway for..."
"A dangerous criminal is on the loose..."
"A mass shooting occurred at..."
"A bomb threat was made against..."
"A school shooting took place..."
"A kidnapping victim was found safe..."
"A crime spree is targeting..."
"The community is on edge..."
"Safety concerns are mounting..."
In the end it’s all wrapped up with bunting
Some paper put on and they go on shunting
Moving the phrases around A to B to C
Then do it all the next day
They way they do on T V