"Starbucks Vs Dunkin"
Fresh out the French press, a brand new Battle of the bitter brown bean water boiz to bump in your Buick!
Lyrics:
STARBUCKS:
Hand me the mic
Imma start dumpin,
Hold up these sights,
Point em at dunkin,
Put out ya lights,
Leave yo forehead sunken,
Bullet to the brain,
Add A little bit of spice to ya pumpkin,
I’m not bluffin,
Shots’ll riddle ya body, ya corpse lookin like a cranberry muffin
Beat yo ass like percussion,
It’s nothin but 31 ounces of pure dunkin destruction
STOP,
Honestly, it’s comical the probability of me winning is astronomical,
Dissolve you in a vat of Fluoroantimonic acid just to make a new Frappuccino flavor,
I’m diabolica,
l shit
I’ll rip ya heart
right out of ya throat still breaking ya chest bone
Sit back and laugh as I sip on a short
Iced Brown Sugar Oat Milk Shaken Espresso
They wont invest no money in ya broke ass company
Sellin old donuts out in Modesto,
Didn’t even break 2 billy in 2023
Bro **** ya self,
And spell my name right in ya manifesto
My vibes all cozy and comfy,
The people can’t stay away from me, they love me,
Free internet, cake pops when they hungry
That’s why given me all they money, you dummy,
34.6 billion, annual, revenue,
I’m settin records, its something you’ll never do
Unless we talking bout the record for most dead bugs in a kitchen,
Or least sandwiches that are edible
The federal department of health and human services oughta investigate ya
On a hour by hour schedule
Call medical I got ya bottom line up in my reticle
My coffee’s got a grip on the population like fentanyl
Frappuccinos, cappuccinos, americanos
To flat whites, caramel cold brews, and hot macchiatos
Got so many options, sell my shit at Vons in a bottle
Your business critically endangered like a damn axolotl
You lack confidence, you don’t believe in ya products
…Nobody’s eaten ya donuts, and it eats at your profit
You chose low quality dough to put some ease on ya wallet
Then dropped the “Donuts” from your name and hoped the people forgot it
But I didn’t
And I’m here to remind yo ass,
That you’re a bean-sized threat,
And I’mma grind yo ass
You’re fate was sealed,
The moment I opened my first location,
all I gotta do is sit and wait for time to pass.
DUNKIN:
I can’t believe what I just heard, please explain,
How you think, you gonna beat me with that weak refrain,
All you can talk about Is money, all them G’s you made,
But even 50 trillion wouldn’t help Ease the pain
That you feel inside, knowing you a wack ass company
With overpriced snacks leaving folks mad hungry
Rippin off ya fans and treating ya workers scummily
You shoulda kept ya mouth shut, instead you tried to fuck with me
So fuck it, I’m goin beast on ya bitch ass,
Hittin you with facts so fast, it’ll give you whiplash
violated labor law so many fuckin times,
That I’ll be awarded a medal when I ring you like a dishrag
Punk,
I’m a champion for the common man,
Slanging hot brew, but unlike you, I’m not a scam
3 dollars per donut? you wilin’ fam
I got Great prices globally, in Modesto and out in Rotterdam
Youre a snooty pretentious punk,
So they’ve sent your’s truly,
To ruthlessly mess you up
You use a fake fancy puddle-deep facade, to line em up
And lure em in, That’s why you put that ugly siren on ya cup
But soon enough… they gone realize you con artist,
Greedy fartsniffers like you, will never survive longest
You can’t ignore this warning cuz it’s true,
Your fans got other options to explore to get their brew
Your prices are extortion, they’ll go poor affording you
While ya CEO flys private on his damn morning commute
Ugh
He actually does that shit... douche
I can’t stop rollin my eyes,
When I hear the ridiculous names, you gave to you sizes
it’s small medium large, and maybe XL,
Not short, tall, venti or whatever the hell,
…Im sick of all of your bullshit, its starting to smell,
You don’t pay ya workers enough, to expect em to spell,
Ya customers fucked up names like Brooklen and Keyleigh
Who take up all ya tables to work on their shitty screenplays
I like ya blonde roast, got a nice taste
I’ll drink it after killing you cuz I dont like waste
I’ll chop ya body in half adorn it with white lace,
Then put ya head on a spike and display it pike place
I sell donuts for a buck and a quarter,
with regular named drinks so I dont fuckk up the order,
you got ahead stepping on people, but you'll come to see
the tides have turned
and now America runs on me.