Wound Dumping Vs Heart Centered Emotions
One of my pet peeves in the Polarity space is that “The Masculine should hold all of my rage, stories about him, character assassinations and wounds.”
That is bullshit.
It’s emotional violence.
He should learn to hold your deepest hearts truth, your open hearted pain (even rage), and grief.
What allows him to meet you there is your immediate and open hearted expression.
The way to check yourself here is to ask, “can I actually feel my heart as I am expressing myself right now.”
Not your stories, co-mingled with your unexamined anger—oftentimes dating way back before him.
Men crave your immediate, open-hearted responsiveness, not the story about him around your pain.
When he says or does something that hurts you, let him know right away, with your heart open.
For example, “When you said that, it made me so angry,” or a simple “Argh.” Or “ouch that fucking hurt.”
Immediate, heartfelt reactions help him understand and course correct.
When you don’t respond immediately, your hurt gets combines with your past experiences, and often comes out as a cacophony of wound that he can do nothing with.
Of course, it’s the same for him.