5 tips to deal with difficult relatives
5 tips for dealing with difficult relatives
You can't choose your family, which means you might be saddled with difficult family members whom you have no choice but to deal with. If so, you'll want to know how to interact with them and not drive yourself crazy in the process. Deal with your difficult relatives by staying calm and being assertive. Then, follow strategies to make interactions with them more pleasant. Also, it can help to distance yourself from them when it's necessary to save your sanity.
Method 1
Working Around Difficulties
1. Keep your cool. Relatives have a unique ability to get under your skin. However, you risk exploding and making things worse if you do so. When problems emerge, learn to regulate your emotions. Learn to detect when you're feeling irritable or furious. Step away to get some fresh air, count to 100, or practice deep breathing when you're provoked.
2. Use "I" statements to be forceful. Exercise assertiveness to prevent getting railroaded if you have a run-in with a tough family member. Communicate what you need to say in the fewest possible terms. Use "I" sentences to take responsibility for your feelings and ask for what you need without provoking the other person's defensiveness.
"I don't appreciate it when you speak for me," you may remark. "Could you kindly allow me to respond to the questions on my own?"
3. Don't give in to the guilt trip. Difficult family members frequently use guilt-tripping tactics. Emotional abuse is when someone tries to impact your decisions by making you feel guilty. You are not obligated to fall into the trap.
Let's assume your aunt makes you feel bad by stating, "Well, I've come all this far." "I was hoping you'd at least let me pick the food for the occasion." "Aunt Margaret, please don't attempt to guilt-trip me," you could answer. You can choose your dessert and one of the entrees. The rest of the meal will be decided by a group vote."
4.
Pay attention to what they're saying. Have you listened to what your challenging family member has to say, really listened? All humans want is to be heard at times. Furthermore, there's a probability that some of what the individual is saying is accurate. Actively listening to what they're saying can make them feel heard and help you resolve a misunderstanding. If a member of your family has a reputation for being difficult, you may be ignoring what they say out of habit. Take the time to listen to what they have to say. Consider where they're coming from and whether part of what they're saying is correct.
5.
Give them total control over one region. Some relatives will exacerbate the issue because they badly want to feel included. Allow your thorny relative to work at a job over which they have total authority. Giving them a task to complete may keep them occupied and out of your way.
If your relative, for example, stands back and moans while others cook, have them set the table and clean up the sitting area.
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