THE PROBLEM WITH FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF
Feeling sorry for yourself is self-destructive.
It leads to new problems and can have serious consequences.
Instead of feeling grateful that Jack survived the accident, his parents worried about what the accident took away from them.
As a result, they allowed the accident to take away even more.
That’s not to say they weren’t loving parents.
Their behavior stemmed from a desire to keep their son safe.
However, the more they pitied Jack, the more negatively it affected his mood.
Indulging in self-pity hinders living a full life in the following ways:
• It’s a waste of time.
Feeling sorry for yourself requires a lot of mental energy and does nothing to change the situation.
Even when you can’t fix the problem, you can make choices to cope with life’s obstacles in a positive way.
Feeling sorry for yourself won’t move you any closer to a solution.
• It leads to more negative emotions.
Once you allow it to take hold, self-pity will ignite a flurry of other negative emotions.
It can lead to anger, resentment, loneliness, and other feelings that fuel more negative thoughts.
• It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Feelings of self-pity can lead to living a pitiful life.
When you feel sorry for yourself, it’s unlikely you’ll perform at your best.
As a result, you may experience more problems and increased failures, which will breed more feelings of self-pity.
• It prevents you from dealing with other emotions.
Self-pity gets in the way of dealing with grief, sadness, anger, and other emotions.
It can stall your progress from healing and moving forward because self-pity keeps the focus on why things should be different rather than accepting the situation for what it is.
• It causes you to overlook the good in your life.
If five good things and one bad thing happen in a day, self-pity will cause you to focus only on the
negative.
When you feel sorry for yourself, you’ll miss out on the positive aspects of life.
• It interferes with relationships.
A victim mentality is not an attractive characteristic.
Complaining about how bad your life is will likely wear on people rather quickly.
No one ever says, “What I really like about her is the fact that she always feels sorry for herself.”