The Most Important Thing!
🎬 Imagine this scenario: You didn’t get hired for a job you really wanted. Depending on your nervous system state—Green, Yellow, or Red—your perception and response can be very different.
🟢 Green: Ventral Vagal (Safety & Connection)
In the Green state, you’re calm and grounded. When you don’t get hired, you can take a step back and look at the situation clearly. Your thoughts might sound like:
“It’s disappointing, but I’ll learn from this. Maybe this wasn’t the right fit, and there are other opportunities out there. I’ll adjust and keep going.”
From this perspective, you’re resilient and solution-focused. You see the setback as part of a bigger picture, and you have the confidence to keep moving forward.
Action to take in Green: Use this clarity to reflect and refine your approach. Reach out for feedback or guidance. Keep yourself open to new opportunities while maintaining your grounded state.
🟡 Yellow: Sympathetic (Fight or Flight)
In the Yellow state, your system is on high alert, and stress is taking over. When you don’t get hired, your thoughts may be reactive and anxiety-driven:
“What did I do wrong? I’m not good enough. I have to fix this now. I need to do something—anything—before it all falls apart.”
Here, you’re caught in a loop of self-doubt and urgency. You may act impulsively, scrambling to fix things without clear direction.
Action to take in Yellow: First, pause. Breathe deeply to calm your nervous system. Once you’re more centered, you can plan your next steps with intention instead of acting from a place of panic.
🔴 Red: Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown)
In the Red state, everything feels overwhelming, and you might disconnect emotionally. When you don’t get hired, your inner voice might sound like:
“Why even try anymore? Nothing ever works out for me. I’m just not cut out for this.”
Here, you’re stuck in a sense of helplessness. You might withdraw from the situation entirely, feeling like it’s not worth the effort to keep trying.
Action to take in Red: Focus on small steps to reconnect. Reach out to someone for support or take a simple action to remind yourself that you can move forward, even if it’s just one step at a time. Shift the focus from the outcome to the effort.
The Lesson:
Your nervous system state can change the way you see and respond to life’s challenges. An Integrated Man knows how to recognize the state he’s in and what actions he can take to shift his perspective. Whether it’s grounding yourself in the Green, calming the storm in Yellow, or reconnecting in Red, awareness is key to moving forward.
Where are you today, and how is your state shaping your story?
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Hi! I’m Travis I am a Licensed Therapist and Mind+Body Coach.
Come with me to…
💪🏼 Become more
〽 GROUNDED
🌊 ADAPTABLE
🌲 RESILIENT
🧭 AUTHENTIC
[Music by Scott Buckley - released under CC-BY 4.0 www.scottbuckley.com.au]