Taking Responsibility for Conflict in My Relationship with My Mother. Break Old Patterns and Habits!
This video is about Taking Responsibility for Conflict in My Relationship with My Mother and Breaking Old Patterns and Habits I have noticed that because I have been stressed AND my mother has been stressed over the last week or so, our conflicts have been more explosive than usual. There is this lingering tension that exists between us and I don't feel like it has ever truly been able to heal. I know that I play a major role in our conflicts, and I know it comes from old beliefs, patterns, and habits from my childhood that certainly do NOT serve me. It almost seems like I want to be angry, and a part of me wants to let myself be angry and really go into it. I haven't given myself the space to be angry and I can see that it is really taking its toll. Repressing your feelings is never a good idea!
I see myself reacting instead of consciously choosing my response, and I definitely don't see myself being my best version. One other conundrum I'm encountering is whether to focus my energy on healing the deep seeded wound that exists around the connection with my mother, or focus on taking space. On one side, it seems like I would be getting out of my comfort zone by leaning into the wound. On the other side, I would be getting out of my comfort zone by moving out of the home that has been my security net and comfort zone for so long. The idea of taking space sounds SO appealing because I can see how it would be easier to heal without having the wound constantly reopened through our frequent conflicts. These tense encounters also seem like incredible opportunities to grow and let go but it doesn't feel like I am ready for that yet. Needless to say, I am uncertain of where to focus my energy, but I am leaning towards taking space. Feel free to leave a comment if you feel strongly one way or the other.
Today's video is more on the somber side, but hey, it is what I am going through right now. I didn't really want to share all this stuff, but it is all a part of my growth and my journey.
Cheers to getting out of our comfort zone and doing the hard things every day!
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