in my end is my beginning | beyond the scene.
"Words move, music moves/ Only in time; but that which is only living/ Can only die. Words, after speech, reach/ Into the silence." - T.S. Eliot
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flying;
'In my end is my beginning' - T.S. Eliot
can you feel it? that this could be it?
HELLO AGAIN
How am I supposed to start? It's almost been 4 months since I last made a video. For those of you who follow me on twitter you know that I've actually been on a vidding break for the first time in six years... which is pretty scary, I guess? It's hard and long to explain, and I'm sorry I've been quiet here on youtube, but it's complex and I've actually felt this coming for quite some time (if you want more details you can always read this here: / 924375283590946816 ). Let's just say that my never-ending existential crisis influenced and changed a LOT of things in my life - but I wouldn't change a thing now.
I just want to make things clear - for you, and probably for myself too - when I first started working on another vidding project after my 3-month break, I literally thought that this was going to be the last video I would post here, and all I wanted to do was burst into tears (I definitely didn't edit that night and waited another week to pluck up the courage to work on this lol). But that's definitely not it; I'm not saying goodbye to YT right now, I guess I'm just saying hello again? I think I'll definitely edit less, but that's because I'll be focused on other projects.
I'm going to make the final cut of a short movie that we'll shoot this December, and for me this is so HUGE!!! I've also started writing a lot of poems... and I'm still completely, utterly in love with video editing. It's just that I can't limit myself to short YT videos any longer, if I do that, if anything, that's what will make me leave for good.
I hope you'll understand, and I hope you'll realise that this is the reason why I didn't come back with a HP video. I realise that pretty much nobody here will watch this just because it's not HP content (and somehow this makes me so upset because I'm not limited to just that). But I don't care. Contrary to what some people here may believe, I'm not here for HP, HP was here for me before, it's important to make the difference, and I'm looking for so much more now.
It's never been just about HP. It's never been just about fandoms. It's not just about BTS here. It's about what you make with it and how you choose to edit.
The quote at the beginning of the video was written by my favourite poet, Paul Eluard (I had to bring him up again):
"Loneliness, silence/ More moving/ At the dusk of fear/ Than the first contact of the tears"
But my poor translation is nothing compared to the power and movement of his words.
I think I can safely say that I'm proud of this! BTS and their music, their MVs - all of this really helped me, especially at the beginning of this school year. And all of it still does now, I'm so grateful.
This video is dedicated to the queen of memes REGINA ♥
/ nighthogwartsangel
I just - for so long now, you've been there. I came to you first for so many important things and realisations in my life, and I reckon that most of them are indirectly present in this video. There are no words to express how grateful and thankful I am to have you as a friend and as someone I can confide in, really, none of them compare.
This video means a lot to me for many reasons, from a kind of 'vidding rebirth' to BTS itself, to my love for music and edition and all of the feelings I've been confused about for months - and it's all for you because of so many other things. I'm still not over the album you actually gave me for my own birthday, their music HELPED and more, and I opened your letter and there it was... and it's obviously not just that... I'M JUST RAMBLING HERE I PROBABLY DON'T MAKE SENSE I'M SORRY, but aaah you will understand what I mean (hopefully). I'm so sorry I couldn't actually send you anything yet... but here's a piece of my heart here instead.
And I am so, so proud of you, okay? You deserve your happiness, you deserve it all. And we'll move forward, and we'll experience so many other things, and I LOOK UP TO YOU.
I LOVE YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ☼
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○Twitter: / winterxhope
○FanFiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3245599/...
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Fandoms: they own 2017
Music: end of the video
Colouring: mine (the second one I ever made!!)
Program: Sony Vegas Pro 10
○Backup: / @kiwiichannkc5605
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