the ugly truth to "productivity"
(ep.10) u get what i mean? hopefully it makes sense ahaha
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songs:
My Love Mine All Mine by Mistki
Home Again by Michael Kiwanuka
Distance by Dyl Dion
subs: 1412
journal entry (19/4/24):
for the past week i've been a consuming, not-doing-anything rut. quite the contrary to what i usually am which is pretty much summed up by this video. im slowly getting out of it and back into it tho.
"hustle" has gotten a bad rap lately, but i think ppl have gotten soft. ppl have dreams, i do as well, but they're not gonna make themselves, yknow? especially since it's so easy to become complacent a lot of us will never reach our full potential if we just slack off. i think maybe 80/20 or 90/20 balance between "working" (i put the " marks next to it cus i hate calling whatever i do "work". if u call it work then it may make it seem less enjoyable if u always say "i gotta do work". words r powerful) and not working. the thing is ppl think they can work for a couple hours, then "wind down/relax" by playing some video games, or consuming on social media. i disagree. there's no such thing as "free time". time is ur biggest asset, so why not use it to it's fullest extent? in the time im not spending on creating films, music, a business, or school, i'm at the gym, reading, walking, meditating, u get the idea. it's not directly "work", but it's still productive in a sense where I GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT. this is coming from someone who played pokemon, minecraft, and fortnite everyday for hours on end, but yknow, i think we could all be spending our time better. myself included. i still end up watching short films, how to do x thing on camera, or kanye west motivational clips on youtube. i'm human too. but the thing that separates me from u is my mindset. i don't think anyone else EVER, will think the way i do. im sorry, it sounds arrogant etc etc, but it's true. kanye had to sound like a narcissistic butt to get where he is today, but just look at his 2005 interview with charlie rose. he believe in himself TO THE FULLEST. i know u don't believe like ye does. i don't myself. but i'm slowly changing. not into arrogance, but confidence. if it takes me sacrificing my life now, then so be it. it's not like i'm devoiding myself of fun. creating music is fun (i do that in my "free" time). creating these films r HELLA fun. even running my own business is fun. the idea of wanting to do more is fun and exciting. i think what i'm caught up on right now is the fact that i'm paving my own path. it's lonely. it looks very different to what everyone else around me is doing. which is why i feel like this towards "productivity", but it has to be done. i gotta accept the life i'm living is different to everyone else's. and that's ok. as long as i enjoy the journey (which i slowly am). anyway that's all for this journal entry, 10k+ subs this quarter (april, may, june), i'm calling it. i want to do a charity event in the middle of the year (and when i hit 10k subs minimum as a requirement), so i have no choice but to work my ass off. that's 1 out of my 3 main goals of this year. i believe i can do it. luck is unfortunately involved (in this whole youtube "game"), but something my older brother told me is that:
"yes luck exists. but u can create your own luck with hard work. take rubik's cube competitions. the best people in the world train every day to get better. to get a world record solve you have to get a lucky scramble. but you have to have the knowledge and skill to know how to execute it well. THAT comes from hard work"
i kinda paraphrased but that's essentially what he said. time to get back to it. time to get out of this rut.
#youtubenewwave #arikki #documentingmylife