Come to Burnley
Come to Burnley. Narrated by Johnny Ball
Come to Burnley
Once a proud place, with every man earning his crust in the mines or mills
Now; yet another post-industrial turd on England's beautiful green carpet. New Burnley's economy is built upon scratch-card sales and super-strength lager. What a beautiful place to live, what pride. What?
Burnley, a town famous for having the most stupid council in the north, a town that wants to charge you on a Sunday to park, in a park that is actually nothing more than a field -- and look at the results.
...what a great idea, having an open-air gym. But, even on this lovely Sunday afternoon, the people of Burnley are too lazy or too pissed to bother with it.
Only those with dogs can be bothered to tear themselves away from the television, but oh no -- those that really appreciate the space are not allowed!
Would you like to live in a cardboard box? Good, Burnley welcomes the homeless. Burnley has empty houses; so many that they've taken to painting pretend décor to make them look a bit more occupied. Brilliant idea -- almost as brilliant as finding a way to put actually people in there -- people that otherwise have nowhere else to live!
Come to Burnley, because you don't even have to wait for night to get smashed out of your head on industrial alcohol.
Do you like football? I don't.
Burnley town centre, looks quite friendly doesn't it, but then so does Norman "Knuckles" Jones.
Burnley: the longer you stay, the worse it gets.